Learn the art of cuddling

How many times has your girlfriend been mad at you coz you ‘forgot’ to cuddle her?

The chances are many. While women love very few things more than cuddling with their partners, guys somehow, always manage to not get the art of cuddling right. Either they are too sloppy, appear uninterested or rather ridiculously manage to actually doze off sometime in the middle. All these traits are hazardous (to say the least) and can definitely alter the fate of your relationship. So men, play close heed while we disclose the bare essentials about the Art of Cuddling.

1. The Hold/Touch

Gentlemen, be exactly as your title suggests: GENTLE. She is not your PSP or ipad who you clutch onto for dear life. Hold her gently, wrap her in your arms, squeeze her just the right amount. Your touch will let her know how much you love her. Yes, women are excellent at such body language reading. So let the love you feel for her seep through your gentle soft touch & hug into her skin.

2. Smell and Feel

Cuddling is not just about hugging your girlfriend as if she were a teddy bear. You need to let all your senses do the doing. Smell in her hair, and neck; move your finger (slowly) up and down her shoulders and arms. Play around with your senses, only to excite hers.

3. Talk

Cuddling, usually involves no talking. But a few sweet nothings and some sweet talk here n there would do you good. Show her your romantic side. Talk about your idea of an ideal date WITH HER, tell her how stealing a glance with her in a crowded room makes you feel at ease instantaneously and voila! she’ll be yours in a jiffy

How To Unhook A Bra With One Hand

The art and science of taking off your girls bra takes some amount of luck and a lot of practice to master. If she finds out that you are useless when it comes to unhooking the doors to her treasures, chances are that she might start thinking that you will struggle in bed as well.

Therefore, it’s really important for you guys to master the art of taking off a girl’s bra stealthily and smoothly.

Back Clasping Bras

As back clasping bras are by far the most common types worn by women, your fingers should always proceed there by default. Back clasping bras can be quite difficult to unhook as there’s no way you can see where your fingers are moving. The clasping system can have either one, two or three clasps that hook into the eyelets that are fixed on the other strap. To unclasp a bra, you need to release the hooks that are attached to the eyelets. There are several different tactics to do this. While the two handed method is the easiest, it can only be done if you and your partner are sitting face to face. So let’s discuss the very artful single handed method.
The single handed method is a lot more complicated than using both hands, for the simple reason that often you can only afford to use just one hand to do the job. So carefully read these Xpert tips to ensure that you don’t frown and fumble the next time when you are faced with an implacable bra.

•  Assuming that you are facing her, take one hand behind her underneath her clothing.
• Then slide your index finger from top between the bra and back, so that your nail is actually facing her skin.
• Using your index finger gently pull the straps of her bra from her back, thereby creating a smallish gap between her back and the bra.
• Then, use your middle finger and your thumb to squeeze the bra inwards. Once you have done this, remove the index finger.
• Now move the thumb outwards and the middle finger inwards in a snapping motion, which just pull the eyelets out of the hooks.
• And you are done. It’s a little tricky, so make sure that you practice this method a few times before trying it on your girl.
  

  Front Clasping Bras

  The front clasp, as shown in the illustration, isn’t all that difficult to undo, but because they aren’t as common as back clasping bras, they can be a tad difficult to identify. So when your fingers start exploring your girl’s back for those elusive clasps and you aren’t able to locate them, then don’t take too long to figure out that she probably prefers wearing front clasping bras. Though the fastening system in these bras tends to vary, the one shown in the illustration is by far the most common among them. It basically has a plastic hook going through the eyelet of the second strap.

  Removing front clasping bras stealthily is hardly possible because of the simple reason that they are right there in front of you. You can easily use both your hands to remove these bras, once you have understood how this system works. Just grab each clasp with one hand and pull them towards each other, unlatching the clasp. Gently twist the plastic clasp by ninety degrees that would allow it to move out of the eyelet. And Voila!

  Single Handed Method

  Opening front clasping bra with one hand, though its possible can be really very tricky and you may end up embarrassing yourself and your partner. If you are still keen on unhooking front-clasped bras using just one of your hands, our advice is basically to practice on front end bras and come up with your own technique.

  No Handed Method

  One of the most exciting ways of opening a girl’s bra is do it without using yours hands at all. Give your girl a good strong hug and then gently tilt her to a side. The trick is know which side the hooks are attached. So if you tilt her to the left side and the hooks are on the right, it just won’t open.

  While opening a woman’s bra can be tricky and discomforting for men unaccustomed to dealing with garments with hooks and clasps, these Xpert tips will go a long way in aiding the process. But, if you still aren’t able to succeed, just ask your girl to do it by herself. Watching her strip for you is a treat in itself.

How to approach a BOMBSHELL

PUMP YOURSELF UP

You’re nervous because you think she can see your faults. Guess what? She’ll see them only if you show them to her. So before you approach her, take a minute or two to boost your own confidence: Remind yourself why you rock and then visualize those traits front and center as you interact with her. Do you have an amazing sense of humor? Visualize her laughing, and that talent may be more likely to break through. Dashing blue eyes? See her staring into

them.

EASE INTO THE CONVERSATION

Wait for an opportune time to approach her one-on-one (when her friend goes to the bathroom, or she steps up to the jukebox alone). You don’t want to interrupt or surprise her; that’ll put her on the defense. As you initiate conversation, keep your shoulders back and hands at your sides—a warm, welcoming stance. Open with a polite “Excuse me…” instead of an intrusive “Hey” or “What’s up?”

SAY SOMETHING NICE

A pickup artist might tell you that a backhanded compliment will pique a woman’s interest because she’s already heard all the nice compliments. Don’t believe it: You’ll just have to use the right compliment. Instead of complimenting a physical trait, like her eyes or hair (or worse), ask her about that funky piece of jewelry or cool T-shirt she’s wearing. This diverts the conversation from her, which she’ll appreciate, and her answer will provide jumping-off points for more topics.

SEAL THE DEAL

Because you approached her, it’s your responsibility to proffer your number first. (That whole “Are you on Facebook?” thing is lame.) And give her a reason for contacting you: “If you really want to catch that new Wes Anderson movie, why don’t I text you next weekend when it’s out?” You’ll reinforce the fact that you’re interested in her while keeping the talk cool, confident, and casual.

THE RIGHT WAY TO FLIRT ON THE PHONE

All men not only want to get the ladies to go on a first date with them, but to keep them hooked after the date is long over and get them begging for more before the date has even started. Now, the trick to getting any girl totally latched onto you is by getting her to listen to every word you say. And for her to want to listen to you, you have to master some simple guidelines that enable you to Flirt the Right Way on the Phone.

1. The Voice A soothing voice can truly calm and enchant a woman. When talking on the phone, don’t yell, shout, and talk too fast or too slow. Maintain the pace and keep your voice soft and gentle at all times. As long as your voice soothes her nerves, she will never want to disconnect the line.

2. Talk clean You want her to like you, so don’t talk ‘dirty’ right away. That will just freak her out and get her thinking that you are some creep from weirdoland. Talk naughty, and flirty; tease her once a while. For example: ‘I wonder if are twirling your hair with your fingers right now. I love it when you do that’. A simple statement like that will get her to have a soft spot for you right away.

3. Don’t patronize, instead Please All women love to be flattered. Flatter her voice, compliment her dressing sense, and praise her hairstyle. More often than not, such good gestures from you will be appreciated to be only followed by some odd question. Like, ‘Which actress do you find the sexiest?’ or ‘Do you think so-and-so is beautiful?’ These, gentlemen, are trick questions. Relax. Breathe. Don’t falter. And most importantly don’t give cheesy answers. Be honest. Let her know that while you are going ga-ga over her beauty, you do have genuine appreciation for other beautiful women. This way she’ll know you are a man with an opinion of your own; a man she won’t be able to resist.

4. Sweet Nothings Hun, Babe, Baby, Darling, Doll, Sweety, Love are not just common nouns. They are the most effective and powerful sweet nothings to please a girl with. Use these in sentences as often as you’d use conjunctions and prepositions and she is bound to get all dooey eyed.

The Clitoris And The G-spot

The clitoris and the G-spot are the two sources of erotic stimulation. Read on to find out how you can manipulate then to get your woman to orgasm.

We have the dick, the balls and that’s all. Hey that rhymed! But when it comes to women, by Jove, their vaginas are more complicated than a mile long labyrinth. Anyways, such dictums no longer hold true and modern day lovers are expected to have other tools in their arsenal than their overrated dicks. When you are about to pleasure your woman with your fingers and tongue, you can only do so if you know the anatomy of a vagina.

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To make it absolutely simple there are two basic ways of getting a girl to orgasm:  By stimulating her clitoris orally and by stimulating her G-spot through penetration or fingering. These two different parts require their special type of attention and as a lover you should be dexterous enough to know when to switch gears and focus your attention on a different part. But first you need to know what these two parts are:

Clitoris

Clitoris is the female equivalent of the head of the male penis. It’s an area devoted solely to physical pleasure and is packed with millions of nerve ending making it super sensitive. It is basically located just above the opening of the vagina outside the female body.  It protrudes ever so slightly and if you are able to arouse your woman it will become all the more pronounced and visible.

What to do?

Though there are several theories on the best ways of getting a girl to orgasm with clitoral stimulation, there are a few basic ground rules that ought to be followed while approaching her regions:

Keep your movements light. Whether you are tonguing or fingering don’t be too direct and attack the region with gusto.
Remember as the region is very sensitive, she will enjoy your attention a lot more if you start off slow. If she is ready for additional pressure she will let you know.
Don’t focus completely on the clitoris and spread your attention to the surrounding areas as well. The nerve endings move outwards from the clitoris making the surrounding area sexually sensitive to your touch.
Keep you strokes rhythmic and increase the speed and intensity as you go along. Don’t be abrupt or inconsistent with the speed or the rhythm.

There are basically three ways of getting a woman to orgasm with clitoral stimulation:

Oral stimulation: Using your tongue can prove to be very effective as it greatly adds to the moisture and warmth. The moist, smooth texture of the tongue will be just loved by her vagina.
Manual stimulation: using your fingers with deftness you can get your girl to orgasm. Lightly rub her clitoral region to get her wet.
Intercourse: While in the missionary position if you position yourself carefully, your pubic bone will hit her in just the right spot.

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G-spot

The G-spot can be described as a tiny bundle of nerve endings located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation.

Where?

Unlike the clitoris, which actually protrudes from the tissues surrounding it, the G- spot lies buried deep within the vaginal walls. The exact size and location of the G–spot may wary and can be hard to locate in its un-stimulated state.

How to locate?

Because of its positioning, it’s almost impossible to expect your lady love to lend you a helping hand to locate it. So you are all by yourself when it comes to locating the G-spot.

Your fingers are more flexible and dexterous than your penis, slowly start off by fingering her vagina and lightly crook it upwards in the ‘come here’ motion pointing towards her belly button region. Then lightly probe the upper walls. You are searching for a small spot that’s denser than the rest of the surrounding area. You will have to experiment with the length and pressure of your strokes. Don’t worry your babe will let you know the second you locate it. The look of intense surprise and pleasure on her face will be a clear enough indication that you have unlocked the door to heavenly bliss.

Depending on the exact location and size of the G-spot you may or may not be able to hit it during penetration. One of the best ways of getting your penis to hit the G-spot is to try the doggie position, with your girl resting on all fours. Its just gives you a better angle and deeper penetration.

Now that you are aware of the basic directions, feel confident and you will manage to make your girl cum. The idea is to keep it light and have fun. Don’t turn it into a search for the elusive Holy Grail.

A Single Girl’s Habits

20 SHAMEFUL SINGLE-GIRL BEHAVIORS YOU SHOULD KNOW

The New York Times discovered that single people do really quirky crap when they live alone. Stuff they’d be to embarrassed to do if anyone were watching. But no one is watching. So no one is judging. This allows Shameful Secret Single Behavior to fester and grow and become less appalling to the singleton as the years roll by. We can’tbelieve this. As single ladies, who have lived alone for long stretches of time, we are absolutely and thoroughly shocked to hear this. We have never done anything weird, all alone in our apartments while no one was watching, like sing Michael Jackson songs to our plants or strut around in a uniform of dirty hospital scrubs tucked into fuzzy socks. We jest. In fact, we feel fairly confident that we are the Queens of Single Quirk. But we’re not ashamed. No we are not. We’re proud, dammit. Here are our single behavior confessions.

1. Playing Tetris on the iPhone while watching The Real Housewives on TV

Obviously, this is about conflict resolution. The Real Housewives marathon is the conflict. The Tetris marathon is the resolution.

2. Making salad in a giant wooden bowl and using the bowl both for prep and eating to avoid washing an extra dish

It might look stupid. But the two minutes saved on washing extra dishes is worth it.

3. Rinsing dishes instead of using actual soap

Speaking of dish doing… soap is overrated when you’re the only person who uses your dishes. Bask in your own germs.

4. Same for hand washing after using the bathroom. Waste of hand soap!

5. Eating straight out of the fridge or in bed with the laptop

If you’ve recently wiped down your regular eating area, it’s dumb to get it dirty by taking yet another meal there… alone. Skip the kitchen and go straight from fridge to bed.

6. Drinking straight from the bottle

Drink Diet Coke straight from the plastic liter. Wine straight from the bottle. Milk straight from the carton.

7. Smushing the trash down further, to fit more garbage in, instead of taking it out

It doesn’t matter if your apartment smells like rotting spinach if you’re the only one who has to smell it. A candle or some room spray will cover that shit right up and you’ll live another day without having to go down four flights of stairs to the dumpster.

8. Spilling something on the counter and brushing it onto the floor

Coffee grinds, cereal crumbs, pistachio shells, all of it belongs on the kitchen floor where it blends into the ugly linoleum and gets stuck to the bottom of your fuzzy socks.

9. Wearing the same pair of socks multiple times

And even if the bottoms of those fuzzy socks are covered in coffee grounds, you can put off washing them for a while. A long while.

10. Using a towel for a really long time without washing it

Same goes for that face towel you’ve been using in the bathroom. You can flip it up to four times before every surface is covered in your mascara.

11. Boogers don’t really need to go in tissues

Boogers also can be wiped on walls, under beds, in the carpet. Boogers also like to be flicked. But don’t eat boogers. That’s truly gross.

12. Waiting to buy TP…

Until you’ve used every scrap of paper towel and napkin in the house. Boogers especially don’t go in tissues if you’ve been putting off your toilet paper run for a while. Because tissues are the same as toilet paper. Duh.

13. Leaving clumps of hair in the hairbrush

As long at the bristles still run through your hair, you’re in business, Betty.

14. Taking a hell of a lot longer to wash period blood stained sheets than we care to admit

But, what the hell? We’re admitting it now. There is something comforting about sleeping in one’s own period stain. Reminds you that you’re still fertile, even if no one is “tapping that.”

15. Eating potato chips and onion dip for dinner

Tastes better if eaten at the fridge or in the bed with the laptop. We recommend following that up with pretzels dipped in peanut butter and Nutella for dessert. An entire meal without dishes!

16. Sleeping with a teddy bear
His name is Ralph. So what?

17. Cupping our bare breasts or vagina while watching TV

It just feels right.

18. Eating two dinners because the first one wasn’t very good so it didn’t really count

This will be highly unlikely if you ate potato chips and onion dip for dinner. That shit is satisfying.

19. Taking MySpace-style self portraits in the bathroom mirror

It’s important to commemorate these special single moments. Like celebrating an entire day of not using dishes or utensils. Or beating your own Tetris high score while watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion special.

20. Listening to the same song on loop for five to six days in a row

And it doesn’t matter if it’s something uncool like Soul II Soul’s “Back to Life.” Your plants won’t mind one bit.

7 ways to stand out in a crowd

Whether you want to stand out at an interview or you’re trying to get noticed by a member of the opposite sex, it’s important to know how to make a good first impression. Here are seven simple steps to make you stand out in a crowd

How to stand out in a crowd 1: Have good posture

Experts say that first impressions are based on 60 per cent non-verbal communication and 40 per cent verbal, which means that you’re being judged mostly before you even open your mouth – no pressure. To make your 60 per cent count, you need to have good posture. When was the last time you noticed the person who shuffled into the room looking shy and coy? Did it make you want to talk to them? If you were an employer, would you give them a job? No? Shocker. Shuffling in with slumped shoulders and your head hanging down will make you look like you don’t want to speak to anyone and doesn’t make people feel like they can approach you. Instead, walk tall with your shoulders back and your head held high.

How to stand out in a crowd 2: Walk with purpose

Along with posture comes walking with a purpose; there’s no point holding your head high if you’re going to dawdle over to the bar looking worried and lost. Walk as though you’re going somewhere specific. Even if you don’t have a clue where you’re walking to, just pretend you do. Maybe aim more towards the bar than the toilets though – you’re trying to look confident, not like you’re on a desperate mission to get to the bathroom because you have an upset stomach.  Walk in like you mean business, and people will notice you.

How to stand out in a crowd 3: Look the part

Trendsetters rarely go undetected so wear something that stands out. This isn’t to say that you should revamp your style completely; go for something you feel confident in but add a flash of colour or a quirky accessory to make yourself stand out. Look through magazines for inspiration; if you flick through the pages of a fashion magazine and see someone that stands out for their style (in a good way, of course) try to incorporate an element of their style into your own.

How to stand out in a crowd 4: Be approachable and approach people

There’s no point looking the part with posture, confidence and style if you’re going to team these positive attributes with a bad attitude and a glum face. No one likes the cocky guy who walks in like he owns the place. Instead, approach people and make sure you look approachable, make eye contact and smile. Ask people questions about themselves to show that you’re interested even if you couldn’t care less about where they work or what they’re doing at the weekend – these people will want to talk to you again in the future.

How to stand out in a crowd 5: Have a passion

When speaking to people – whether that is in a bar or in a job interview – evoke people’s interest in you by being passionate about your chosen subject. Talking about how nice the weather is can be a good conversation starter when you’re trying to break the ice, but it gets pretty bland after about 30 seconds. Instead, ask people what they’re interested in and show your passion for your hobbies too. This doesn’t mean pretending that you love rugby when you’re into ballet, but if you can show a particular passion for ballet, then go for it. Showing that you have a passion for something makes people interested in you because you’re inspiring – you have things to talk about and knowledge to share with others.

How to stand out in a crowd 6: Don’t be swayed by other people

People who really stand out are those who don’t simply smile and nod along when something is said that they don’t agree with. You shouldn’t change your opinion purposely to stand out, but if your thoughts genuinely diverge from everyone else’s, say it. Don’t force your opinions on other people because this will make you unpopular but don’t be afraid to express your views either. If you have a good reason for thinking differently, you’ll stand out for your honesty and innovative thinking. Rather than saying, for example, “no that’s not how it should be” say “ that’s an interesting way to look at it. I’ve never thought of it like that before” and then say your opinion. Having your own thoughts and being honest will make you stand out from the people who simply smile and nod along.

How to stand out in a crowd 7: Believe in yourself

Above all, believe in yourself. To stand out from a crowd, you must believe that you are someone worth being around. Once you have conquered the fear of being the centre of attention, you’ve got the key to standing out in a crowd. There is only one of you in the whole wide world, so look good, stand tall, be confident and friendly and you’re sure to stand out from the rest . As the saying goes “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” so make that first impression a good one – go you?

 

Signs A Girl Likes You

Once you’ve figured out that she is, in fact, interested, what’s next? Watch the video above to know what women want after they’ve made it clear they’re interested.

We all know the stretch-and-put-your-arm-around-her-shoulder move. Most of us have probably used it. But did you know girls have signature moves of their own? And did you know that more often than not you probably miss their signals — the ones that tell you they want to get down to business — because you thought they were actually picking that piece of lint off your hoodie instead of intentionally touching you?

No.10 The Head Rest

For me, it’s the casual head rest, which is particularly effective at the cinema. Start off by snatching up the middle arm rest between the two of you. As the film goes on, shimmy down in your seat (or don’t, I’m quite tall) and then casually lean your head on his shoulder. This usually prompts a “stretch to put your arm around her” from him.

No.9 The Eyelash Bat

If we’re sitting on the couch, I’ll probably rest my legs on your lap. I’ll briefly grab your arm when we’re talking to exaggerate whatever it is I’m saying. Biting my lip is also usual while I am looking up at you and down to the floor, and then up again. Kind of like batting my eye lashes, just in a less obvious and more natural manner.

No.8 The Thigh-And-Hand

Hand on thigh.

No.7 The Getting Comfy

Cuddling: “Oh, I’m just getting comfortable” translates to strategically rubbing all up on you.

No.6 The Something-In-My-Eye

I had a chick once pull the most amazing move on me. We were dancing with some friends and she starts rubbing her eye for a few seconds, she takes me aside and says “I think I have something in my eye, can you see anything?” She then stands really close to me and I look into her eye, faces inches from each other. At that distance and that position it was almost natural to kiss. I had a girlfriend so didn’t do it, but there was this moment where I was like “nope can’t see any…” pause… think about kissing her… realize what just happened “…Holy shit that was the smoothest move I have ever seen.”

We had a laugh about it, she wouldn’t tell me if it had worked for her before but I’m guessing it had.

No.5 The Boob Bounce

Using my boobs! If I’m close to my guy I will nonchalantly brush my boobs against his arm or make sure I push my chest out just a little more than usual when giving him a hug. Also, I’m normally more “bouncy” when doing things, so they catch his eye. These tricks always lead to fun stuff.

No.4 The Hand Brush

My hand will always brush against yours when I want you to hold my hand. I’ll do it a fair few times in the hopes you realize I’m not an idiot with hands that just dangle but more of an indication that I want you to hold my hand.

No.3 The Tickle Trick

Find a way to work being ticklish into a conversation. Men typically will fall for it and begin tickling and that’s when I giggle and press myself against them in my “struggle” to get away. It has never failed.

No.2 The Yawn And Lean

Ah, that must be the “yawn and lean.” You’re sitting beside one another, and the girl leans her head on the guys shoulder or chest as if she’s tired. Snuggle guarantee!

No.1 The Lean and Touch

For me, it’s the lean and touch. You laugh at something he says, lean forward a bit while laughing and touch him. Usually on the inside of his forearm or thigh. Just for a few seconds. Then I lean back a bit and flash him a big smile.

When executed correctly, this move has a very high success rate.

Next time this happens, smile at her and tell her something you like about her. You know… good sense of humor, you like her dress. Something. If she continues to be friendly and continues to be touchy, she’s into you.

 

You must also like 

Decode her abode      How To Figure Out What She’s Really Saying

The surprising sign she’s into you   How to keep her from straying

Improve your foreplay technique

Areola

“The areola responds to very light touch – simply running lips or fingers across it can cause it to tense up pleasurably, responding particularly well to temperature,” says psychiatrist and sex expert and therapistMadeleine M Castellanos. “To prompt the greatest sensation wait until the areola tenses up then gently stretch it between your fingers,” she adds.

Best for Smaller nipples The areolae of women with smallish nipples are far more dense in nerve endings than the nipples themselves.

Side

“This is an extremely sensitive but often overlooked area due to man’s obsessions with nipples and cleavage,” says Castellanos. “Stroke all along the length of the side of her breast with your fingers and then move into a more circular pressure, which increases the flow of oxytocin to heighten the intensity of her orgasms.”

Best for Large breasts While women with bigger boobs can find that their nipples are less responsive, the sides of their breasts are highly sensitive to any stimulation.

Underneath

“Women want to feel their breasts being lifted, not pulled down – so cup the breasts in your hand and push up gently,” says Mikaya Heart, author of The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women. “This will not only make her feel good physically, it will also make her boobs look buoyant and round, relaxing her mentally, too.”

Best for Drooping breasts “Lifting them relieves the tension on the nerves in the breast and appeases their fears about lovers being alienated by their slightly sagging breasts,” says Heart.

Cleavage

“The area from the collar bone down over the top of the cleavage is more sensitive than the bottom of the cleavage,” says Castellanos. “Use the pads of your fingers, rather than your fingertips or nails.” If you want to get more than your hands in her cleavage – and let’s be honest, you do – invest in some massage oil first.

Best for Breast implants Women with augmented breasts especially enjoy the surface of their cleavage being pleasured, as the nerve-endings here are unaffected by the implants.

What every woman wants

Four ways to fulfil her most secret desires

Better sex starts here

Women are complex creatures, as every man knows. Understanding how their brains are wired differently from yours will make all the difference in figuring them out and turning them on.

One of the most important things to understand about women is that the female’s brain does not have a 24/7 appetite for sex like yours does. The area of the hypothalamus responsible for sexual pursuit is 2.5 times larger in your head than it is in hers, explains neuropsychiatrist Dr Louann Brizendine, author of the books The Male Brain and The Female Brain. “Evolution biologically hard-wired a man to be ready for sex at every opportunity,” she says. “Mother nature made it so a man is consumed with sexual fantasies about female body parts.”

Meanwhile, she’s sizing you up in a far different way — by talking, getting to know you, assessing if she feels comfortable with you, or determining that you’re a creep — for a different purpose. Because pregnancy and nursing are such dangerous, painful, and time-consuming undertakings, women have evolved to be far more thoughtful about who they’ll agree to talk to at a bar and ultimately have sex with.

 

1. Be more dominant in bed

Women desire sexual assertiveness in men because it’s masculine and sexy. And surveys show that they want more of it. But men tend to subconsciously check their natural impulses and inhibit their dominance out of concern for her feelings, according to a study in thePersonality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

Surveys show that women want more assertiveness and creativity from men in bed. The Big Book of Sex survey, for example, found that 67% of women would enjoy a spanking. And 56% prefer you to be on top most of the time. Your sexual assertiveness may even give her the courage to loosen her own inhibitions. More than a third of the women in one MH online survey said that during sex they’re thinking of dirty things they’re embarrassed to talk about. One in four is imagining a position she’s afraid to ask you to try (click here to find a new position to blow her mind). So tell her how sexy she looks and how turned on you are by her scent. Suggest trying a sex toy, new position, or role-playing. The more you open up and show your excitement for her—and the more you take the lead—the more comfortable she’ll be.

2. Unlock her treasure chest

Unlike men, women feel sexual as a result of intimacy that begins outside of the bedroom. This is the greatest lesson you can learn about how to satisfy a woman emotionally, physically, and sexually. “To a man, foreplay is just the three minutes before insertion,” says Brizendine. “But for a woman foreplay is everything that happens 24 hours before sex.”

Praise is the one thing that no woman can resist. Sex educator and psychotherapist Laura Berman says that every woman has a treasure chest, a secret part of her that she cherishes, that men need to find in order to target their praise most effectively.

“Typically, it’s a non-body trait like her intellectual curiosity, her sense of humour, her outlandishness,” Berman says. “But it could be the colour of her eyes or even her laugh. It’s when a man discovers this, when he comes to appreciate and love that part of her, that he really gets the girl both emotionally and sexually. That’s when she feels she’s being loved as a complete person.”

3. Kiss her in public

Better yet, kiss her in front of her friends or colleagues. She’ll enjoy the public attention, but so much more importantly, she will revel in seeing her friends notice your outward expression of love for her. They’ll think you’re having sizzling sex every night. A hug, hand hold, arm around the waist, any public display of affection fulfils one of a woman’s deepest desires: acknowledgment that you want her, love her, need her outside of the bedroom, and aren’t timid about demonstrating this before others.

4. Touch her neck

The vast majority of women who responded to The Big Book of Sexsurvey described their necks as their most unexpected pleasure zone. Brain scans have shown that women can achieve orgasm more easily if their brain’s stress centres are switched off. “Many women need a transition period between dealing with the stress of everyday life and feeling sexual,” says Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and author.

The neck is the perfect place to begin stroking away those stress hormones. Because the nerves and blood vessels are close to the surface of the neck, brushing your lips between her throat and chin will take her mind off the kids or the job. Massage her neck then move to the scalp. It’s crucial to keep things non-sexual for her. Thinking you have an ulterior motive will destroy the effect you are going for.