Men ‘preheated’ for sex but women warm up slowly

Know why most of men just rush for sex and ignore the vital art of whole-body lovemaking? Read on!

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Learning the reasons for this difference can help men become better lovers,” said a report published by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) – a US-based nonprofit advocacy group that helps people 50 and older improve quality of their lives.

Recent research shows that women experience libido as an urge far less compelling than that.

“A University of British Columbia survey interviewed hundreds of women who reported feeling ‘erotically neutral’ at the start of sex. Only when they started making love – and enjoyed it – did they warm up and feel actual desire,” the report added.

According to sex therapists, men become intimate to gain sex whereas women have sex to gain intimacy.

Men should try sex based on gentle, whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals but does not fixate on them.

“The genitals are important but so is every other part of women’s bodies. Men who rush into genital sex are clueless about women,” the report quoted New York sex educator Betty Dodson as saying.

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Want a healthy life? Have sex

From reducing migraine pain to lowering the risk of prostate cancer, this pleasurable exercise has many far-reaching health benefits

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While most of us would agree that having sex makes us happy, a new study has suggested that the pleasurable exercise could actually offer various far-reaching health benefits — reduced migraine pain, lower risk of prostate cancer besides providing emotional well-being.

Having more sex could not only make us feel good, it could provide far-reaching health benefits.According to the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, unfortunately we are having less of it — on average we have sex fewer than five times a month, compared to six-and-half times 20 years ago.

Yet studies have linked regular sexual activity to emotional well-being, reduced migraine pain and even a lower risk of prostate cancer, Daily Mail reported.A Canadian study last month found that half-an-hour of sexual activity could burn more calories than walking on a treadmill — the researchers claimed sexual activity could be considered significant exercise.The study measured the sexual activity of 21 couples aged between 18 and 35. They were monitored using an armband to calculate how many calories the wearer burned, and the intensity of the activity.In a typical session, lasting 25 minutes, the men were observed as burning 100 calories on average, the women burned 69.

The intensity of the activity was measured in METs (the Metabolic Equivalent of a Task); for men, the average reading was six METs, for women it was 6.6. It’s roughly the same as playing doubles tennis, or walking uphill, for 20 minutes, 33 minutes of golf on a driving range, 40 minutes of yoga or 19 minutes of light rowing. According to the Canadian research, it can be classed as a moderate intensity exercise if you do enough of it. Meanwhile, it is not just the heart and lungs that get a workout. Last week, scientists at the University of Maryland in the US found middle-aged rats made more brain cells after mating.

 

TOP 5 THINGS MEN LOSE WHEN THEY COMMIT

First things first, we are not advocating lack of commitment in men here, we are simply having a man to man talk. So, let me be very clear. While long lasting relationships is a great idea, there are certain things a man definitely will lose when he commits to a woman. You’ll get your share of happiness- agreed, but there will be a lot of risks as well after you take the leap. Get it all figured out before as we tell you 5 things that men are most likely to lose after they are committed to their partner.cp.jpg

1) Your Control

This one is probably the reason why most men are not willing to commit in the first place. Perhaps you can blame the society or your family who instill fear about how a woman will come around to ‘control you.’ That said it’s not entirely untrue. From your weekend plans to vacation plans to the clothes you wear or the hairstyle you sport, a lot about how you look and where you go will now depend on what she decides.

2) Female Friends

There is no denying the fact that changes do occur in your friendships, especially female friendships when you get a girlfriend. You won’t be able to spend as much time with them, definitely not alone, as she’ll always be accompanying you. Now there may be an isolated case or two where you can keep your friendship with other women as is, but those are few and far between.

3) Your Personal Space

Generally commitment comes along with spending maximum time together, sometimes it means living together entirely as well, which of course can drastically reduce your privacy. Soon you’ll find your house in order, which you’re not used to, feminine products in the bathroom, utensils in the kitchen et al. Moreover, be ready to be bossed around – there will be a list of things that you wouldn’t’ be allowed to do. So, you might as well kiss your privacy goodbye.

4) Your Lack Of Accountability

Before commitment your actions always went unnoticed. You could do anything not having to think about what the other person feels. After commitment, you’ll have a new set of feelings which you’d have to consider always before you do anything. So, that adrenaline filled camping trips with your guys or the X-box time with your buddies during the weekends will now be like a distant dream.

5) Your Casual Fun

Casual flirting is the first thing that has to be given up when you come in a serious relationship. When it comes to commitment there are boundaries for interaction with other women. Flirting has to be measured and contained before it turns to anything scandalous; unless you want to deal with crying and broken teeth.

Sex Positions She Craves

You want to please your partner. I want to help you. (Well, not literally, but you get where this is going.) That’s why we surveyed over 1,100 women on which sex positions they wish you’d try more often. (Spoiler: Missionary came in dead last.) The poll consisted of 11 positions, and each participant was to select which three she fancied the most. As it turns out, the ladies want the same thing you do: more adventure!

Interested in what our respondents had to say? Check out the five positions that ranked the highest:

No. 1: Face-Off Position, 48 percent ranked this in their top three

How it benefits her: She’s in control of the depth, as well as the pace of the thrusts. (Bonus: You have killer access to her breasts. Utilize this.)


No. 2: G-Whiz, 32 percent ranked this in their top three

How it benefits her: When she raises her legs, it narrows her vagina—making it easier for you to target her G-Spot. 

No. 3: Upstanding Citizen, 31 percent ranked this in their top three

How it benefits her: It’s. So. Sexy. (Advice for you: Spread your thighs slightly, don’t lock your knees, and if you have a bad back—don’t attempt it. Nothing says “mood killer” like hurting yourself.)

No. 4: Flatiron, 31 percent ranked this in their top three

How it benefits her: It creates a snug fit. (Simply put: You feel larger to her in this position.)

No. 5: Stand and Deliver, 30 percent ranked this in their top three

How it benefits her: Bending at the waist tightens her vaginal walls and increases the intensity of the friction. (Want to take it up a notch? Reach around with your free hand and caress her clitoris.)

So there you have it, five woman-approved sex positions. Now go out there and see which one you and your partner like best!

6 Sex Mistakes You’re Making

Want to have more sex? Make it about discovery again. Bust out of your romance rut and jumpstart your sex life by breaking these six relationship routines.

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SEX IS A RACE

Break it: Explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina, and don’t cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author ofDifferent Loving. You’ll ignite her nerve endings and bring her close to her red zone. It makes sex about discovery, not some destination. “Goal-oriented sex isn’t sexy,” Brame says.

SAME TIME, SAME PLACE

Break it: Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim the space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it’s steeped in testosterone, and there’s a throwback, high-school quality to it. Make it a quickie, which has its place in the sexual diet; having lots of sex begets more sex, because you stay connected, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.

PREDICTABLE FOREPLAY

Break it: Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. “She’ll feel the sex is about her and not some random need she has to accommodate,” says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Washington University. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone,  a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

LOPSIDED FIRST MOVES

Break it: Tie her hands. It’s now up to her to figure out how to remove your shirt, tie, cuff links, and pants. You’ll share a few laughs and marvel at her ingenuity. Whether you tie her up or she binds you,  the game will break your predictable, first-move habits. The bonus: “It acts as an automatic foreplay extender,” says Berman.

TV, THEN SEX

Break it: Read to her. It doesn’t have to be erotica. It’s an intimate activity that makes her focus on your voice. The deeper, the better. Low voices are a sign of high testosterone, which ups her attraction to you, according to a Scottish study. Read lying in bed with your head up, to dip an octave; it forces you to push air with your diaphragm instead of your lungs.

HABITUAL HAND HOLDING

Break it: Caress her neck. Sure, holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac: It shows her you’re devoted and proud to tell the world. But after a while, its poignancy wanes. A stepped-up PDA will deepen her connection to you, so she’ll be more willing to really give herself to you in the bedroom, says Schwartz.

 

Bring Spice Back In Your Sex Life

Sex can become dull and monotonous if you don’t keep the spark alive and the spontaneity flowing. Let me tell you the various things that women like and dislike in bed.

Use these 10 very useful tips and keep the passion flowing through your relationship.

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1. Go the extra mile

If you get into bed every night and she knows what is going to happen, how dull can that be! Change the routine because routine is boring. Go the extra mile and please her. Spend more time on her than usual. Go down on her, kiss her everywhere, and make it more about her than you. Surprise her and you will reap the benefits as well.



2. Be spontaneous

If you are in bed, or even prior to going to bed, don’t ask her for ‘permission’ to have sex. What a way to turn her off! Show her you want to have sex. Don’t force yourself on her, turn her on instead. Maybe that means kissing her on the back or the neck. Find out what gives you permission without actually asking it.



3. Get busy anywhere

Variety is the key to a successful sex life. Use the kitchen floor, the stairs, the shower, the couch and even the dining table! Making love in different places adds variety.



4. Try out new sex positions

Get Kamasutra savvy. Shun the missionary style, experiment with different sex positions like the doggy style, woman on top and many more, which will not only stir up your sex life but also help your woman orgasm better.



5. Share a fantasy

Not only can curiosity be sexy, it also has the power to shift your relationship, from being boring to exiting. Too many people have ‘psychic sex,’ they think they know what the other person wants, when often they may be hiding the same desires. Talk it out then act it out!



6. Get the romance back

Women love romance. You don’t have to cook a 3 course meal, or buy her sexy lingerie, romance can be as simple as telling your girl that she is beautiful, or bringing a bottle of wine home and taking time out for the both of you. Suggest a walk together, or a bath. Romance is so diverse. Surprise her. If you never take a walk together, suggest going for a walk and finish it with a glass of wine or coffee, whatever suits you both.



7. Experiment with your girl

Whatever you do don’t go through the motions when having sex. Don’t be afraid to try things out with her. Ask her what she likes, what positions she prefers, what fantasies she has, what she likes you doing to her. Talking about your sex life is a great way to make sure it doesn’t go downhill.



8. Tell her – You love it!

Make sure you let her know that you are enjoying having sex with her. Keep touching and kissing her, let her know that you are into her. Whisper in her ear how beautiful she is. If she isn’t used to this, it is sure to send shivers down her spine.



9. Moan & murmur

Make noises as well. If you aren’t comfortable making noises, start out softly. This will show her you are enjoying every moment; it will arouse her more and may also encourage her to make noises as well.



10. Ignore the clock

Stop viewing sex as a night time activity; you may be too tired to do it then anyway. Make a date, take time off your work and plan to meet at home in the afternoon, for a session of hot steamy sex. This will add some much needed spice in you love life. Making love at night time just becomes monotonous. Variety is the spice of a great sex life!

Effective Tips to Keep Your Girl Satisfied

If you have been wondering about how to keep your girl satisfied,

constantly worrying that lately she doesn’t seem to be as excited in your company in the way she used to be earlier, you need to shake yourself and start searching for answers. For starters, understand that keeping a girl satisfied is more about the cerebral thing, i.e. emotional satisfaction, apart from the usual ingredients like making intimacy more pleasurable. You need to ensure that you arouse, satisfy and still keep her hungry for more from an intellectual and sexual perspective. The following tips might help you understand how to approach this slightly complex niche:

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Be More Attentive

Yes, most women are blabber-mouths and your girlfriend too just cannot stop yapping. You have developed a sort of mental immunity to what she talks about, usually ignoring the details and subtle hints that might be camouflaged in her verbose chatter. Try to pay more attention and pick-up such signals. She might be hinting at things missing from your relationship. Further, when you listen attentively, chances are that you will discover more things about her, including her personality traits and interests. This gives you more reasons to talk about, make your conversations inclined more towards her interests, presenting you as a seriously caring boyfriend. Most women feel flattered when their men tend to remember the smaller things and take interest in seemingly trivial pursuits.

Be Random, Unpredictable

Women like men with a bit of mystique and a few surprises. You don’t need to turn into a stuntman to satiate her appetite for being surprised. Just do the normal things in a different way. For instance, you could suggest joining yoga or swimming classes
together or taking a trip on a sport’s bike. Offer to teach her driving if she seems afraid to get behind the wheel or show-up with a totally unexpected gift for her. Invite her to a unisex salon where the two of you could get streaks of the same shade.
The idea is to kill the monotony in the relationship to ensure that you are keeping your girl satisfied. Dump emailing and sending SMS to her. Instead, try the snail mail for expressing your love.

Be More Nurturing

They say women are born with a maternal instinct and naturally tend to care more than men. This is true but this doesn’t mean that she has got to nurture you while you sit back and enjoy being taken care of—rise up to the challenge and reversing the
role for a few days. This is not about pampering her more but nurturing where you need to take care of her smallest needs and be more compassionate. For instance, is she complains of headaches, give her a gentle shoulder or head massage. Tell your
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 that you will accompany her to her next appointment with the dentist. Seek couple packages at spas and wellness centers and tell her that you are doing it since you are constantly worried about her being overworked or stressed.

Giving-in To What She Yearns For

It could be that your girlfriend is satisfied but you are limiting her freedom to the extent that she feels a bit suffocated and thus, unhappy. You need to be more adjusting here. Give her more time to spend with her friends. If this means checking upon her daily schedule a bit less frequently and not asking her whereabouts all the time, just do it. Any relationship that borders on being too restrictive doesn’t have a very long lifespan.

Never Stop Experimenting in Bed

If you two have graduated to a deep level of intimacy, it could be that sex is getting too predictable to keep your woman satisfied. You need to spice-up your love life. The best approach towards this is having a teenager-like mentality to explore what else you guys can do. For instance, watch some porn together and mark-out sexual positions you could try. You need to understand that the body’s sensitivity and the degree of arousal level achieved can decrease over a period if the same positions and spots are repeated. Try to search and enact roleplay themes that interest both of you. Sometimes, couples who have a decent degree of bedroom time, tend to lose focus of how trivial things in life too could be erotic.
This includes getting naughty at the movie hall, catching a kiss in the parking lot or groping her seductively (and secretly) in the elevator. The idea is to keep adding a new dimension to your intimacy every time it seems that things are getting a bit uninteresting for either of you. If you have been the dominant partner so far, let her take over for a few weeks in the bedroom.