If your partner has a wandering eye, here’s how to spot it – and stop her from cheating
First, the bad news: your partner is hardwired for infidelity. Now the really bad news: it’s happening more than ever before. In a recent nationwide survey, 34% of British wives and girlfriends admitted to sleeping with other men behind their partners’ backs.
But all is not lost. Studies show there are five specific types of female philanderer. Here’s how to spot her natural cheating ‘type’, so you can neutralise that hardwired impulse now.
The alpha female
Four out of five women seeking an affair on the internet fall into the ABC1 economic bracket. “This is the sort of woman who goes to the gym early in the morning so she can hold down her perfect job and body,” says psychologist Susan Quilliam.
Beware when… She misses out on a promotion. “When her power balance shifts, she will take drastic measures to get control back,” warns Quilliam. “She may look for new physical interests to provide that boost.”
Abolish her animal instinct Confidence is the best form of defence. “Initiate sex more often, and stand up to her. The last thing she wants is another grovelling employee,” says marital therapist Andrew Marshall. “To these women, power is an aphrodisiac,” says psychologist David Holmes.
The attention seeker
A study by the University of Texas found that sexually attractive women have higher than normal levels of oestrogen, and a stronger inclination to cheat as a result. “She’s a natural-born breeder,” says Holmes. “Identify her by her swarm of male friends,” says Quilliam.
Beware when… Her male friends start coupling off or lose interest in her. “Without male interaction, these women subconsciously feel a sense of something lacking, and look to build new relationships with men as a result,” says Quilliam.
Abolish her animal instinct Set her loose on other men. “It might seem counter-intuitive, but introducing her to male relatives or (trusted) friends will give you the security of knowing her male companions – without depriving her of attention,” says Quilliam. Disregard this advice if your relative is Russell Brand.
The thrill hunter
Her proclivity to cheat could depend on her ability to produce dopamine: the chemical that makes us feel excited. Some women are genetically predisposed to seek risk. “She’s the type who starts arguments just for the thrill of it,” says Quilliam.
Beware when… Your relationship becomes less stimulating. “If Friday nights revolve around the TV and local pub, she’ll look to someone new to get the dopamine-racing rewards you used to give her,” says Holmes.
Abolish her animal instinct Take up a new hobby as a couple. “Suggest going out to try exotic cuisines,” suggests Quilliam. Foods containing tyrosine, such as almonds or bananas, will also boost dopamine (the safe way).
The pleasure predator
“These women have elevated testosterone levels – evident from their high sex drives and an interest in sport,” says Holmes. Don’t celebrate just yet when she turns on Match of the Day.
Beware when… You’ve been together for a long time. “Once your sex-life becomes less exploratory, incompatibilities in your bedroom preferences can arise,” says Quilliam. According to Canadian research, women who feel sexually incompatible with their partners are three times more likely to cheat.
Abolish her animal instinct Get tactile – with your clothes on. “Contact outside the bedroom will recreate the anticipation you felt earlier in your relationship,” says Marshall. Try letting your hand linger on her lower back while waiting at a crowded bar.
The damsel in distress
“Most women prefer to be monogamous and only cheat when the intimacy disappears from their relationship. Spot these women by their ‘helpless’ approach to dating. Does she call you when her boiler breaks or computer crashes? These women bring you into problem scenarios to see if you’ll come to their rescue,” Holmes says.
Beware when… You’re stuck in a rut. “Following the same routine can create an emotional distance between you, which causes sensitive women like her to feel anxious,” says sex psychologist Janice Hiller.
Abolish her animal instinct When talking, repeat back the last adjective she used. “Echoing her descriptions makes her feel like you understand – so she doesn’t need to find somebody else who does,” says Marshall.