TOP 5 THINGS MEN LOSE WHEN THEY COMMIT

First things first, we are not advocating lack of commitment in men here, we are simply having a man to man talk. So, let me be very clear. While long lasting relationships is a great idea, there are certain things a man definitely will lose when he commits to a woman. You’ll get your share of happiness- agreed, but there will be a lot of risks as well after you take the leap. Get it all figured out before as we tell you 5 things that men are most likely to lose after they are committed to their partner.cp.jpg

1) Your Control

This one is probably the reason why most men are not willing to commit in the first place. Perhaps you can blame the society or your family who instill fear about how a woman will come around to ‘control you.’ That said it’s not entirely untrue. From your weekend plans to vacation plans to the clothes you wear or the hairstyle you sport, a lot about how you look and where you go will now depend on what she decides.

2) Female Friends

There is no denying the fact that changes do occur in your friendships, especially female friendships when you get a girlfriend. You won’t be able to spend as much time with them, definitely not alone, as she’ll always be accompanying you. Now there may be an isolated case or two where you can keep your friendship with other women as is, but those are few and far between.

3) Your Personal Space

Generally commitment comes along with spending maximum time together, sometimes it means living together entirely as well, which of course can drastically reduce your privacy. Soon you’ll find your house in order, which you’re not used to, feminine products in the bathroom, utensils in the kitchen et al. Moreover, be ready to be bossed around – there will be a list of things that you wouldn’t’ be allowed to do. So, you might as well kiss your privacy goodbye.

4) Your Lack Of Accountability

Before commitment your actions always went unnoticed. You could do anything not having to think about what the other person feels. After commitment, you’ll have a new set of feelings which you’d have to consider always before you do anything. So, that adrenaline filled camping trips with your guys or the X-box time with your buddies during the weekends will now be like a distant dream.

5) Your Casual Fun

Casual flirting is the first thing that has to be given up when you come in a serious relationship. When it comes to commitment there are boundaries for interaction with other women. Flirting has to be measured and contained before it turns to anything scandalous; unless you want to deal with crying and broken teeth.

Be Better Than The Other Guy

Have you ever considered the possibility that when you meet an attractive woman, chances of her being followed by several other potential suitors is very high?

She may also have a steady boyfriend as attractive women are rarely ever single. Most men are well aware of this fact and this gets in the way of them making their moves. To get her attention you have to be different from all your competitors.

The best way of doing this is to differentiate yourself from “the pack” and get her to chase you. To be different, you have to develop yourself — inside and out — so you can offer her the unique experience of being with a man who is better than all other guys she has been with. So here are some great tips to help you create that magical experience for her.

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Believe that you deserve better

The fact is that when it comes to beautiful women most men simply refuse to believe that they actually deserve success. This in turn affects their confidence. Unless you believe, you can’t act with conviction. Confidence is something that can’t be feigned and women can sense a FAKE from a mile. So if you believe that you don’t deserve to enjoy the company of attractive women, you are actually psyching yourself to all the wrong things and sabotaging your chances.

What you can do

  • Foster the belief that any woman should thank her stars to have got her hands on a guy like you.
  • Try writing at least three reasons why you believe this is true. Keep adding something to the list everyday and watch it grow. As the number of your accomplishments increase, so will your confidence.

Work on your insecurities

To attract beautiful women you have to tide over all those deep seated insecurities that you have so lovingly nurtured during your hitherto unsuccessful dating career. Don’t try to cover them up.
Because the more you try, the more obvious they will appear to women. It’s quite like seeing a woman wearing too much makeup to cover the acne on her face. The harder she tries to conceal them the more they hit the eye.

What you can do

  • Instead of hiding your insecurities feature them till they stop bothering you. An excellent way of doing this is to use them to in your jokes when you flirt with women.
  • If you are insecure about your hair loss say something like “This is never going to work out. You just keep looking at my gorgeous head. How would you feel if I kept staring at your gorgeous legs?”

Take charge

Like every other guy, you too must have given up innumerable chances of starting a conversation with a woman you found attractive because you didn’t want to interrupt or bother her even when it seemed that she was open to being approached. You gawked at her or kept glancing at her and looked away when she caught your eye. Most men are unconsciously seeking PERMISSION to do every little thing. It’s like you haven’t yet got out of the “May I come in, ma’am” syndrome. Asking for permission has been drilled into the psyche of Indian men. So if the girls nod or give you a smile (which they often don’t), you walk towards them tentatively and mumble something to them, with a sickly smile on your face.

What to do

  • Stop asking for permission.
  • Visit places like malls and parties and start conversations with girls at random. It’s really not that difficult. A man with the freedom to take action when and where he wants is rare — and women find this kind of “bold” guy VERY attractive.

Be a Man

All women want to share their lives with a real man. So how does a woman know when she’s in the presence of one? Well, a real man knows how to stay comfortable and confident around beautiful women. In addition, he’s also very relaxed around powerful, high-status people, like his boss. He is not intimidated by competition from other men and actually welcomes them.

What to do

  • Try and work on your cool quotient. A very simple way of doing this is to develop that nothing- to lose attitude
  • Don’t get intimidated by high-profile people. Be respectful but not subservient. If there is anything that you disagree with voice your opinion. This will go a long way in helping in bringing out the man in you.
  • By incorporating all the above mentioned tips in your daily life, getting the chick of your choice will become the easiest thing in the world. As the saying goes “Change your Vision and the world will change around you.”

Make Yourself Irresistible

Did you know that most men approach the process of trying to get dates in a way that virtually GUARANTEES that they will fail? Well I need to ask you something really quickly…

Have you noticed that women seem to have an unerring ability to create an unbreakable “barrier” that they can automatically put up when they’re talking to you? It’s quite like having a sixth sense that alerts them about a guy waiting to ask them out or worse… propose to them. And it turns on an invisible force-field of doom.

Women, it’s said, make up their mind about a guy within the first 15 seconds of meeting him. So it doesn’t leave you with a lot of time to make a good impression on your potential sweetheart. But a very conscious attempt may jeopardise your chances as well, because women have a powerful dude-dar. Even before you invade her personal space, you need to make an impression from a distance, so by the time you actually get talking to her she is well aware of your presence and is actually anticipating the pleasant clash. Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances:

Be the man

This can also be described as the bad-boy appeal. The element of danger is best if it is an irresistible combination of mystery and unpredictability. If you can create this appeal then you can create and break all dating rules and norms at will. It’s a feeling similar to what Neo (the Matrix dude) got when he realised he actually was the ‘one’. You become the master of the situation. The psychological boost that you get from this is incredible. You become someone who doesn’t take crap from anyone. Others have to rise to your standards and not the other way round.

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If you have ‘em, flaunt ‘em

If you have those enviable peaks, a good chest or a cute ass, then show them. You don’t need to work out six days a week and build six packs to get girls (though it does help) – But stay in shape with some regular jogging and cardio.

Jazz up your looks

If you think spending those additional few minutes in front the mirror will do wonders to your looks, then don’t grudge yourself a regular facial or an exfoliation regime. Just avoid looking too prim and manicured or you will look like a made-up doll. So to get that manly look, avoid shaving for two or three days to get that designer stubble, that women love. Keep you hair and nails trim and your hands moisturised.

Be funny – Not corny

Women just love an excellent sense of humour. Be quick and witty. Just try and be a little subtle with your one-liners and avoid “low-brow” topics. You can also tease her about things in a way that would get her interested.

However, you should also keep in mind that the girl you are trying to impress might not be the one for you. In other words if a girl is not genuinely interested, there is nothing you can do about it. So don’t get hung up getting that one girl. She is not the only girl left on this planet. Stay cool and when you feel confident and in control, chances are you will be picked up by someone even better than her.

Top Ten Signs You’ve Found The One!

Wonder if he or she is the one in your life? While there isn’t a fool-proof test to ascertain that, there are a few signs you can watch out for….

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Wonder if he or she is the one in your life? While there isn’t a fool-proof test to ascertain that, there are a few signs you can watch out for…

Looking into the future.

If you’re trying to figure out if you have found ‘the one’, take a look at this list. If you can tick against all the items below, then give that relationship a chance to become all that it possibly can.

Ten signs you have found ‘the one’:

1. When the time is right!

For many, relationships are fraught with obstacles. There is always something that keeps them from enjoying it the way it is. It might be a stressful job or lack of money. And both people in the relationship feel when the problem is resolved, they’ll be truly happy together. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

When you’ve met the one, you’ll embrace each other no matter what the situation. A happy well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what should or could be. The two will share a comfort level that enables them to support each other through a crisis rather than wait upon it to resolve to be content together.

2. You are comfortable being you.

You know you have met the one when your partner loves you for exactly what and who you are. When there is complete acceptance of each other, the relationship is more fulfilling. This doesn’t mean one condones bad behaviour or such.

So if the person isn’t critical of your every move, and if you are comfortable just being you when you’re around the person – it’s a sign that he/she is worth spending your life together.

3. Open communication.

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation to illustrate this: There are two couples, couple X and couple Y. Both these couples have been together for the same amount of time. Couple X has frequent conflict, couple Y has never had one. Who among the two has a healthy relationship? If you’re answer was couple Y, you’re wrong. It’s impossible for two people who’re together to have no conflict at all. In the case of couple Y, it’s most likely that one or both partners is not forthcoming about problems. The needs of one or both partners isn’t being voiced and hence not addressed.

So how you communicate your needs and manage conflict is a significant pointer.

4. There’s no relationship anxiety.

If you find yourself constantly worrying about insignificant things in the relationship, then stop and introspect. When you’ve met the one, there is less anxiety about the relationship.

5. Trust your gut.

Examine your true feeling. How do you feel when you are around him or her? If you’re at ease and truly feel he’s the one, then go for it. Listen to your gut, and you’ll know whether this one is for keeps.

6. There is no drama.

If he/she is the one, it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect together. Rather look at conflict when it arises and try to make the relationship work. When in conflict, how do you two deal with it? Is there a lot of yelling and shouting or do you hear each other out and acknowledge one another’s feelings? If there is drama, there is manipulation, abuse and the kind. It’s best to re-examine your relationship before you fully commit, if this is the case.

7. Your closed ones see what you see!

If the people who love you are asking you to get away from him/her, then you might want to take a second look. Sometimes, however, your friends/family might push for a relationship that you have no interest in. In such cases, it’s not wise to follow their lead.

8. You remain a priority in your life.

If you find yourself changing your priorities in life to accommodate that person, it shows that you’re undermining your own importance and needs. This could well amount to you getting carried away in the relationship you are in. In the long term, this just won’t work. You know the person is for keeps, when you remain a priority in your life while you’re in the relationship. And how does he/she feel about it? This one is also about whether you – personally — are ready for a long-term relationship.

9. The compatibility factor.

It’s true that opposites attract, however, such relationships don’t stand the test of time. What matters most in a long-term — committed relationship — is compatibility. This doesn’t mean the two are completely alike, rather the stress is on a strong common ground. Your life values, career goals, and priorities ought to be compatible for a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

10. Mutual respect.

Respect for each other is the foundation of all relationships, and certainly is in a couple’s relationship. There is no way you can build a lasting, secure relationship without this.

Smart ways to break distance in bedroom revealed

Pointers to get the heat on with your partner in your bedroom

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A Huffington Post contributor has brought out some ways to break the distance between a couple in the bedroom.

Firstly, a person should get in touch with ways in which they might be denying their partner or coming on too strong sexually, the Huffington Post reported.

Secondly, they should strike a balance between separateness and togetherness and should avoid criticizing each other and make peace by stopping the blame game.

Thirdly, they should always keep in mind that it’s the pattern not the person that’s the problem so they should try to find ways to connect with their partner and be more accepting.

Fourthly, people who distance themselves from their partners in bedroom need to practice initiating sex more often and try carving time out for emotional intimacy and romance.

Fifthly, the people who pursue their other halfs to bed need to find ways to tell their partner that they are sexy but should avoid a critique after sex.

Sixth, if a person or their partner feels flooded, they should walk away but not in anger or blame but should disengage as a way to restore their composure not to punish their other half.

Avoid These Common Sexual Mistakes

What are best sexual positions that will prevent monotony from infecting my monogamy?’

Men would have kept away from the laboratory of body contortions, if they hadn’t developed the phobia that women would get bored and ultimately lose interest in sex. With the much maligned missionary becoming old and dull, a number of other radical positions are gaining favor. However, if you ask men, sex isn’t so much about the position, but your attitude. As long as you are able to avoid the attitudinal mistakes mentioned below, you’ll do just fine:

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Foreplay Faux Pas I: Imitating Porn

Inexperienced guys have often been guilty of taking notes while watching porn.  Remember guys, most positions used in porn movies are executed for the sole purpose of ‘entertainment. Don’t you dare think that your wife or girlfriend will get the best ride of her life if you make her go upside down. Such moves do nothing to maximize the pleasure of the participants, so save the acrobatics for the actors.

Any position that puts an added stress on any part of the body (both hers and yours) is a bad idea. The worst of them is the one in which she places her ankles on your shoulders. With this position, the pelvic region is arched far back and the woman is sure to feel pain in her cervix if you push too far. Additionally this position creates a different type of pressure. If you go behind the scenes of an XXX movie, you will see how the mood gets killed every time the woman has to excuse herself in the between the scene to use the rest room.

Foreplay Faux Pas II: Worrying About Your weight

Sex for a woman is a way to get really close to her man, so don’t think she’ll mind if you lean too heavily on her. The next time you’re making love to your woman, get more of your weight on her. The feeling of her man’s body pressed hard against her is quite a turn on for most women.

Of course, if you are too heavy for your woman, she might feel squashed if you treat her like a reclining armchair. However the bottom line is that a woman actually enjoys (at least) some of man’s weight on her remains unchanged.

Foreplay Faux Pas III: Being a Wimp

The last thing you should look for is excuses or lame situations to direct your woman to the bedroom. Too many guys think that women have to be asked for their permission for every little move they make in bed and play safe. Take the lead, she’ll love it a lot more if you act the alpha and are more aggressive in bed. You can be both dominating and caring at the same time. Stop worrying about straying. Believe me if there’s something she doesn’t like, she’ll let you know.

All said and done, pain might be close to pleasure but it isn’t necessarily so.

Unconditional love or clingy?

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Do you have a strong desire to always be with your sweetheart? Can’t keep thinking about him or her? Smothering him/her with your love? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you are heading towards the ‘Clingy’ way. Ah! Sucks doesn’t it? It was only in fairytale romances and fiction that two lovers were inseparable. In real life, if you stay joined at the hip, the results can be disastrous. Forget about happily ever after, your love will run a mile just to get away from all the smothering you have to offer. We get it that you are in love and you want to spend every waking hour with your love. But think about it, wouldn’t it be better if you had a life of your own and your love had one too?

Another thing that’s wrong with clinging is the PDA. Walking hand in hand, gazing into each other’s eyes, whispering sweet nothings – all this makes other people uncomfortable. This is mostly done when there’s an insecurity that lies deep within you. You want people to know that your guy/girl is taken.

Research indicates that women/men who cling to their partners or are needy, jealous and possessive suffer from low self esteem issues and have a constant fear that their partner will cheat on them. This is one of the major reasons why a great relationship comes to a bitter end. You tend to fight a lot more and quibble over nothing. Just because your girl or guy looks at another person, it does not amount to cheating and it certainly is not a big deal. But, if he/she starts ogling and really checks this hottie out, then that is showing disrespect to you and you have reason enough to be uncomfortable and angry.

Don’t treat your partner like he/she is your property and no one else should dare even look at him/her. A fear of rejection or abandonment should not lead to you behaving recklessly. Respect your partner and learn to trust him/her. If you worry about each and every person who looks at your partner, you are in trouble!

The fear of losing your partner to someone else is something that most people do feel at one point or the other, especially when you are together for a long time. This fear, however, often creates problems and tensions in a relationship, and brings bitterness between two lovers. The more you cling, the farther the distance will be between you two. Emotionally insecurity is a big turn off, not just for men but for women too. Incessant calling, continuous text messaging are all signs of insecurity. If you see your partner drifting away, it can be painful but the best thing to do under such circumstances is to let him/her have her space and come back to you.

Go back to being the person you were before your relationship started. You had friends, hobbies, a life filled with happy and fun moments. You didn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend back then but you were happy and carefree. Being that person again is important, as losing who you were completely for a relationship can only lead to suffocation and unhappiness. Remember your partner fell in love with you because you were fun to be around with and there were things about you that kept him or her intrigued. There was an eagerness to meet and spend time…Bring that back by finding yourself again!