Want a healthy life? Have sex

From reducing migraine pain to lowering the risk of prostate cancer, this pleasurable exercise has many far-reaching health benefits

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While most of us would agree that having sex makes us happy, a new study has suggested that the pleasurable exercise could actually offer various far-reaching health benefits — reduced migraine pain, lower risk of prostate cancer besides providing emotional well-being.

Having more sex could not only make us feel good, it could provide far-reaching health benefits.According to the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, unfortunately we are having less of it — on average we have sex fewer than five times a month, compared to six-and-half times 20 years ago.

Yet studies have linked regular sexual activity to emotional well-being, reduced migraine pain and even a lower risk of prostate cancer, Daily Mail reported.A Canadian study last month found that half-an-hour of sexual activity could burn more calories than walking on a treadmill — the researchers claimed sexual activity could be considered significant exercise.The study measured the sexual activity of 21 couples aged between 18 and 35. They were monitored using an armband to calculate how many calories the wearer burned, and the intensity of the activity.In a typical session, lasting 25 minutes, the men were observed as burning 100 calories on average, the women burned 69.

The intensity of the activity was measured in METs (the Metabolic Equivalent of a Task); for men, the average reading was six METs, for women it was 6.6. It’s roughly the same as playing doubles tennis, or walking uphill, for 20 minutes, 33 minutes of golf on a driving range, 40 minutes of yoga or 19 minutes of light rowing. According to the Canadian research, it can be classed as a moderate intensity exercise if you do enough of it. Meanwhile, it is not just the heart and lungs that get a workout. Last week, scientists at the University of Maryland in the US found middle-aged rats made more brain cells after mating.

 

Does She Deserve a Spanking?

Yes! In fact, she’s far kinkier than you think. Read on—and make her scream

We’re willing to wager that all the guys who didn’t bother to read Fifty Shades of Grey will have no problem standing in line for the film. Let’s face it: Compressing Anastasia and Christian’s freaky antics into a visual sexiest will hold male attention far longer than mere words on pages.

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But they haven’t even begun filming the whips and chains yet, so take this lull in the BDSM hype (that’s bondage, domination/discipline, sadism/submission, and masochism for you newbs) to find out if your woman truly is up for this brand of kink, and if so, how to ease yourselves into it.

Think she’ll run screaming? Not so fast. A University of Saskatchewan study found that women are quite similar to men when defining what’s normal or acceptable in bed. Plus, dabbling in kink can provide a host of bonding benefits. “BDSM challenges couples to communicate better and to be more creative,” says Richard Sprott, Ph.D, coauthor of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities. “You imagine new ways of finding pleasure with a partner.” In fact, research suggests that merely acquainting yourselves with the core concepts of kink can heighten your sexual satisfaction. So throw on some leather and enjoy the ride.

TEST THE WATERS

You can’t just show up in the bedroom with a ball gag and chains, or you might find out the hard way that she’s a member of the “Fifty Shades of No Way!” club. Start by recalling the phenomenon created by the books. This can give you a sense of whether the idea of submission and dominance—which is the foundation of most BDSM experiences—leaves her repulsed, indifferent, or intrigued. Some experts say she will probably be intrigued because humans are hardwired to have a biological “opinion” on the matter. “A person’s preference for domination or submission is as biologically fundamental to his or her sexual identity as sexual orientation,” says Ogi Ogas, Ph.D., a cognitive neuroscientist whose book A Billion Wicked Thoughts used Internet behavioral patterns to study human desire. (See how to master your dirty talk here.)

So what do you do with that intel? Unpack it a bit. “A good way to start a conversation with a partner is with a ‘yes, no, maybe’ list,” says psychologist Meg Barker, Ph.D., a researcher at the Open University in the U.K. Lists are available on BDSM websites, or you can take a look—together—at the list on this page. Barker cites a University of New Brunswick study revealing that after 15 years together, couples knew only about 62 percent of what their partner liked in bed, and 26 percent of what their partner disliked. Whether you end up getting kinky or not, you should both find this exercise enlightening and empowering.

GIVE HER A TICKLE

If you’ve ever massaged, bitten, or scratched each other, you’ve already dipped your toe into the most basic type of kink—sensation play. “This generates a biochemical chain reaction, which creates a state similar to the glow of orgasm,” Sprott says. Being the target of someone else’s actions allows the recipient to relinquish control and enjoy the sensations.

Start with a blindfold or sleep mask, which can help you each embrace the submissive role; after all, you can’t really take control if you can’t see. It’ll help both of you focus on the sensations, stay in character, and avoid the nervous giggles, say sex writers Em & Lo, authors of 150 Shades of Play: a Beginner’s Guide to Kink and founders of EmandLo.com. After you plunge her into darkness, graze your fingers or a feather over her inner thighs, the nape of her neck, and the inner part of her forearms, Sprott says. Don’t touch her at all for 15 or 20 seconds at a time in between; this makes her anticipate where the next sensation will take place. If you both decide to inch a little closer to the pleasure/pain threshold, try nibbling her earlobes while pinching her nipples and labia.

TEST HER NERVES: Consider a Wartenberg wheel ($12, amazon.com), a popular BDSM gadget originally designed to test nerve sensitivity. (It looks like a tiny pizza cutter—with spikes.) A little pain from this guy can equal a lot of pleasure.

CRANK THE SPANK

Bare buttocks simply scream to be spanked, but if either of you swings too hard your first time at bat, the move may be summarily ejected from your kink repertoire. That’d be a pity, because spanking can hurt so good. “When you’re spanked, flogged, or caned, it feels awesome and for some may actually be a pain reliever,” says sex writer Reverend Jen Miller, the author ofBDSM 101. “It’s certainly easier to get than Percocet.”

She may balk at first, so ease into it. Janet Hardy, coauthor of The Ethical Slut, recommends starting gently with your open hand, which offers a wide range of sensations, has a built-in feedback mechanism, and feels more intimate than implements. “For most recipients, the lower inner quadrant of the buttocks is the sweet spot—it shares a nerve group with the genitals,” she says. Don’t assume you can just spank her during intercourse and that’s enough to turn her on. You’ll add to the spanking experience if you actually have her over your knee. “Start very slowly with light smacks that just barely sting, and build gradually,” Hardy says. If she’s enjoying the experience, her breathing should sound smooth and sexy and her butt should be pushing up toward the spanker’s hand instead of flinching.

RESTRAIN YOURSELVES

Next, tie the knot, so to speak. Some people want to be tied up so they can feel controlled. Some enjoy being teased and denied. The appeal for the dominant player, of course, is being in control. Just don’t try gleaning any tips about tie-ups from Fifty Shades—it’s full of dubious practices that make BDSM pros wince. For instance, using cable ties as wrist restraints is a really bad idea, say Em & Lo. Some other bad ideas: leaving your partner alone while bound, tying her up in a way that restricts circulation, or putting something over her nose and mouth and obstructing her breathing. Don’t do those things.

Instead, start out by loosely tying her wrists, and maybe her ankles, with something that won’t be abrasive to her skin, such as silk scarves or ties, and watch that they don’t become too tight. “Keep that first session short, and make sure you take the time to get some feedback about how you both felt about it,” says sex educator Jazz Goldman. There are fleece-lined wrist cuffs (that attach with buckles), bondage tape, over-the-door suspension cuffs, or under-the-bed restraints that can be employed when the mood strikes. All of these items can be purchased at no scarier a place than Amazon.

ADD CONTROL: Rope is a mainstay of bondage apparel, with true aficionados responding to both the look and feel of it. But instead of rooting around in the garage, invest in some Japanese silk rope ($14, amazon.com) that will do the job without irritating skin. Once you’ve explored tying or being tied up and liked it, you might want to try spreader bars—bondage equipment that enables you to both restrain and raunchily position your partner in a way that gives you unfettered access to, well, whatever you’d like.

PUT ON AN ACT

Role playing is a great kink-starter as well. But unless you were a drama major, pretending to be someone else is going to make you feel silly and require you to suspend your disbelief. That can be tough, but not as tough as you might think. “It’s much easier to lose your inhibitions when you’re pretending to be someone else,” says the Kinsey Institute’s Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., MH‘s relationships advisor. “The real benefit here is that role playing can be a gateway into sex play you might not otherwise try.”

Skip the elaborate script and period garb and make it easy on yourself. For instance, you could arrange to meet at a nightclub that neither of you has been to before, Herbenick suggests. Arrive in clothes you haven’t seen on each other, and after some fleeting eye contact, start chatting as if you were perfect strangers just starting to flirt with each other. From there you can take it in any direction you want. Perhaps one of you can play hard to get while the other portrays the wolfish seducer. You can be an entirely different person, exaggerate a specific facet of your actual personality, or just reconnect with the feeling of meeting your partner for the first time.

ACT UP: If after tinkering with different scenarios you find that you like role play, try one in which the dominant and submissive parts are explicit. “The classic is the master/slave scenario, in which one partner surrenders free will to the other,” Herbenick says. If you’re feeling a bit sheepish about where to begin, you can always let fate decide: The Fantasy Sex Deck ($25, amazon.com) has 50 cards that each feature a role-playing scenario. Pick a card and be someone else for an hour or two—or forever, for that matter. After all, maybe the real, kinkier you has been aching to get out! (And when you’re done being naughty, be nice by Buy Her Jewelry She’ll Love.)

Effective Tips to Keep Your Girl Satisfied

If you have been wondering about how to keep your girl satisfied,

constantly worrying that lately she doesn’t seem to be as excited in your company in the way she used to be earlier, you need to shake yourself and start searching for answers. For starters, understand that keeping a girl satisfied is more about the cerebral thing, i.e. emotional satisfaction, apart from the usual ingredients like making intimacy more pleasurable. You need to ensure that you arouse, satisfy and still keep her hungry for more from an intellectual and sexual perspective. The following tips might help you understand how to approach this slightly complex niche:

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Be More Attentive

Yes, most women are blabber-mouths and your girlfriend too just cannot stop yapping. You have developed a sort of mental immunity to what she talks about, usually ignoring the details and subtle hints that might be camouflaged in her verbose chatter. Try to pay more attention and pick-up such signals. She might be hinting at things missing from your relationship. Further, when you listen attentively, chances are that you will discover more things about her, including her personality traits and interests. This gives you more reasons to talk about, make your conversations inclined more towards her interests, presenting you as a seriously caring boyfriend. Most women feel flattered when their men tend to remember the smaller things and take interest in seemingly trivial pursuits.

Be Random, Unpredictable

Women like men with a bit of mystique and a few surprises. You don’t need to turn into a stuntman to satiate her appetite for being surprised. Just do the normal things in a different way. For instance, you could suggest joining yoga or swimming classes
together or taking a trip on a sport’s bike. Offer to teach her driving if she seems afraid to get behind the wheel or show-up with a totally unexpected gift for her. Invite her to a unisex salon where the two of you could get streaks of the same shade.
The idea is to kill the monotony in the relationship to ensure that you are keeping your girl satisfied. Dump emailing and sending SMS to her. Instead, try the snail mail for expressing your love.

Be More Nurturing

They say women are born with a maternal instinct and naturally tend to care more than men. This is true but this doesn’t mean that she has got to nurture you while you sit back and enjoy being taken care of—rise up to the challenge and reversing the
role for a few days. This is not about pampering her more but nurturing where you need to take care of her smallest needs and be more compassionate. For instance, is she complains of headaches, give her a gentle shoulder or head massage. Tell your
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 that you will accompany her to her next appointment with the dentist. Seek couple packages at spas and wellness centers and tell her that you are doing it since you are constantly worried about her being overworked or stressed.

Giving-in To What She Yearns For

It could be that your girlfriend is satisfied but you are limiting her freedom to the extent that she feels a bit suffocated and thus, unhappy. You need to be more adjusting here. Give her more time to spend with her friends. If this means checking upon her daily schedule a bit less frequently and not asking her whereabouts all the time, just do it. Any relationship that borders on being too restrictive doesn’t have a very long lifespan.

Never Stop Experimenting in Bed

If you two have graduated to a deep level of intimacy, it could be that sex is getting too predictable to keep your woman satisfied. You need to spice-up your love life. The best approach towards this is having a teenager-like mentality to explore what else you guys can do. For instance, watch some porn together and mark-out sexual positions you could try. You need to understand that the body’s sensitivity and the degree of arousal level achieved can decrease over a period if the same positions and spots are repeated. Try to search and enact roleplay themes that interest both of you. Sometimes, couples who have a decent degree of bedroom time, tend to lose focus of how trivial things in life too could be erotic.
This includes getting naughty at the movie hall, catching a kiss in the parking lot or groping her seductively (and secretly) in the elevator. The idea is to keep adding a new dimension to your intimacy every time it seems that things are getting a bit uninteresting for either of you. If you have been the dominant partner so far, let her take over for a few weeks in the bedroom.

Getting Her To Initiate Sex

o, you took The Player’s tips and manage to get a girl. Good. Now it’s time for some love (read sex). However, if you thought the Game is over, you’re very wrong my friend – getting your woman to initiate sex is a Game for senior players.

I can safely assume a lot of you have never had ‘great sex’. Only true Players can ever achieve that. Put yourself in The Player’s shoes for a second and imagine what it feels like to be able to say that only you have had great sex. Now I want you to imagine something else. Imagine what it would be like to have sex with a woman who wants it more than you do. Think about that for a second.

This is a rarity for the simple reason, because we want it more. Men love sex in a way women never will, and that’s why, always, sooner or later, it’s the man practically (or literally) lands up begging for it, even in a relationship. Right? I mean, that’s what conventional wisdom has come up with, right? And an opinion thousands of years in the making has to have the truth behind it. We all know that.

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Wrong. So wrong. I’m ready to jump through the screen and throttle whoever came up with this brilliant idea. This is one of the greatest fallacies in all of life.

Orgasms: Men vs. Women

Men have one basic kind of orgasm. One.

It can vary in intensity, sure, and sometimes it’ll even be stimulated by something other than direct contact, but it’s really just variations on a theme. That’s just how we’re built.

For a woman, the closest thing to our one orgasm is a clitoral one. But here’s the thing: women have two or more kinds, arguably three. In addition to the clitoral, they also have the G-spot, the V-spot (deep in the vagina) and the vaginal, if you argue that isn’t related.

All those orgasms produce different feelings – feelings that men can imagine, but we can never truly know. And if a woman winds up having two or more kinds of orgasms simultaneously, watch out. During the height of perfect intimacy we can get a vicarious taste of this (practice the art of tantric sex for this) – but 999 out of 1000 male lives will never come close to approaching the levels of feeling that women can get out of sex. We’re just not built that way.

Almost makes you jealous, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, quite a few women never really explore this, and if you can learn how to help a woman along, you’ll never be alone again. But that’s a topic for another article.

Wait a sec, you think, this is supposed isn’t this supposed to be an article about relationships? Why does it only seem to be about sex?

Ah my brothers, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I just wanted to point out, first of all, that men do not have to want sex more than women. They usually don’t. Women are simply more subtle, and also more finicky (blame evolution).

Arousal: Men vs. Woman

A woman can’t be turned on just like that. I show you a naked picture of angelina jolie, within seconds you could be pounding nails with your tool. Show a woman a naked brad pitt, and you aren’t likely to get the same reaction.

While men tend to be visual, women tend to be cognitive. She needs her mind turned on before she gets in the mood.
Trust me, she wants to be in the mood, almost certainly more than you. But just because you get hard at the sight of her nightie, that doesn’t mean she’s ready.

And here’s the problem. Men get aroused so much faster than women that oftentimes they move too quickly. The woman wants sex, but not yet, and the guy is already moving fast into foreplay or, worse penetration.

For the woman, that’s just no fun. That’s not the lovemaking she wants. If you move too quick she may join in for you, but not for her. And this starts to become a pattern. Pretty soon she’s looking at sex as a chore, a way to keep you happy, but all the while she’s not being made happy.

This is when those pesky headaches start to appear.

This is when the man starts getting grabby, pawing, begging, putting himself in the position of weakness. Sex becomes less frequent, and more of a bothersome task for her. This leads to the man begging all the more, leading to the woman wanting it less and less, until it basically disappears.

The man becomes distraught, more pathetic in his attempts, and suddenly your abstinent. Or dumped. Or – worst? – cheated on. So how do you keep from letting this happen? It’s simple. Maybe hard in practice, but simple in theory.

Attack The Brain Not The Body

Don’t paw, don’t coyly place her hand on your crotch, don’t plead for a little sweetness. Never ever beg. Even if you get it that way – less and less as time goes by – the sex won’t be the kind of passionate embrace it should be.

You’ve got to learn to lean back, especially when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. You need to turn her on mentally, and let her show you when she’s ready.

Don’t worry about her knowing about you. We have a handy flag raised whenever we’re in the mood. A woman, though, needs to be turned on more patiently, much more slowly. When she’s ready to move up a level, she’ll certainly let you know, most likely in a physical way.

If you can give her a little then draw back – tease her a bit – then you’ll really start to see something. You want her pawing you. She should be begging you for sex – in a playful way, of course, but nonetheless, you should be the one holding out longer. This will help ensure that she really is in the mood by the time you get down to it – which in turn leads to amazing sex.

Retain the power and the control in the bedroom. Feel free to play around with this. Some of the most explosive sex i’ve ever had was when i’d built a woman up to great heights, and then pushed her away. A woman can get nearly violent in her passion after something like that, if she’s been built up correctly.

This sort of sexual tension works almost all the time. Of course sometimes, for whatever reason, it won’t. The key then is:

Suck It Up

Go a night without. Don’t pout. Don’t ever beg. Don’t even cajole. You might get something that moment, but you’re damaging your sex life in the long run. You are losing your attractiveness.

Remember, she’s the one who is going to be experiencing depths of feeling outside the ordinary experience of men the world over. If she knows that you can provide those feelings and you don’t do anything to screw up your sexual appeal, she will come to you.

You know, people do get real headaches sometimes. A lot of bouncing isn’t pleasant. Don’t plant unpleasant experiences in her head when she thinks of you and sex. You want them all to be great.

Now no one can be on all the time, but even if every single experience isn’t fantastic, most of them should be, and there should be no negative ones.And if she is, let her show you. Your job is to get her in the mood. After that, making love to her is something you choose to do for her.

So think about your life and think about the times you have been trying to get laid – TRYING to get laid. Listen to the way you are wording it. “I am TRYING to get laid tonight.” If you want to get laid, you need to be cool about it. If you are feeling so horny that the very sight of her cleavage makes you want to rip off her clothes, then snap a load.

Jerk off and release the testosterone before you go out on a date or invite her to your place. Do not bring all the sexual energy into the game. The cooler you are, the more suave you are and the more turned on she is going to be by you. By doing this, you start building some incredible chemistry and more often than not, the girl herself will initiate the sex.

Get Her To Notice You

Let’s assume a particular scenario. You are single and have laid your eyes on a girl. The easiest thing would be to go ahead and ask her out. Pretty straightforward ain’t it?

She would either accept or reject your ‘proposal’ and the two of you would go your different ways. Now why did I emphasise on the negative? Dude that’s because that’s what you have in your mind. What if she refuses? Most guys I have spoken to are scared to ask out girls and wet their pants at the thought of rejection. That’s why we have things called pick up techniques so that you can minimise the chances of rejection.

Now how do you minimise the risk quotient before you ask the all important question? Just read through these tips and you will get your answer.

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Recognize your strengths

All of us are endowed with a special skill whether its humor, conversational ability, or athletic prowess. What are you good at? Can you sing or are you a good dancer or a good cook? Think about your number one strength and incorporate it into your dating regime.

Hang out with her friends

Now this is important. If you are able to worm your way into the social circle of this girl, then chances of engaging her in a healthy conversation definitely improve. In fact, this particular tip has worked wonders with most Indian men. Hanging out in groups will make her notice you more and will give you an opportunity to showcase those special skills of yours.

Do not chase her

Whether you manage to enter her friend circle or not, do not chase her (emotionally, I mean). Do not try sticking to her like a limpet and force your presence on her. DON’T!! You don’t want to reduce yourself to being a member of the pack of wannabe boyfriends who are trying to go after her. Now imagine if a woman notices that you happen to be the only one who’s not participating in the chase. What do you think will happen to her attraction level? You’ll only become a hotter commodity.

Be different

Be boring and your girl would start snoring. Being same as every other guy means being boring, and women aren’t attracted to boring guys. So try to be different. No, don’t rush to the salon and get yourself a Mohawk but do something that will make you stand out from the crowd. However, retain your individuality and don’t try too hard to get her to notice you. Always be conscious of your worth.

Ask interesting and meaningful questions

Most men often are complete idiots when it comes to asking questions that are both relevant and interesting. Making your questions interesting will make her enthusiastic about the answer.

Make her laugh

Never underestimate the power of laughterWomen just love men who can make them laugh. Get a girl to laugh, and half your job is done. But preserve those below the belt jokes for your guy friends. Be a little subtle in your humour and you’ll have her sniggering at your jokes.

Learn to take risks

Unless you harden your heart, and learn to take a few chances you will never be able to get romantic with your babe. Realise that you must be the one to make the first move, and ask her out. And it should be fast, because if you linger you will soon become one of her pals which you obviously don’t want to.

How much sex should you be having?

Every night? Once a month? Or somewhere in the middle? Science has its say

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Some people are fine with the amount of sex they get and some think they should be getting a whole lot more. A few men even think their partners demand too much sex and secretly wish they’d take up knitting or something.

On the whole, most men probably think they could handle a bit more sex than they’re getting, though every man, and every relationship, is different.

But science has something to say about it too. According to the latest research, most of us are happy if we think we’re having more sex than the neighbours, however much we actually have.

Read on to discover more.

More than next door

According to the new study, having more sex than your neighbours can make you happy. Professor Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Colorado, analysed data from over 15,000 people and found that respondents who had sex at least two to three times a month were 33 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness than those who’d had no sex during the previous 12 months.

Other findings were similarly obvious. Professor Wadsworth found that the more sex people had, the happier they tended to be, even when factors like income, marital status, health and age had been taken into account.

But the more surprising finding was this. Even people who had reasonable amounts of sex reported lower levels of happiness if they thought they were having less sex than their peers.

Conversely, people who thought they were having more sex than their peers reported higher levels of happiness, even if – in the great scheme of things – they weren’t having that much sex.

“There’s an overall increase in the sense of wellbeing that comes with having sex more frequently, but there’s also this relative aspect to it,” said Professor Wadsworth. “Having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier.”

Once a week

But how do you find out how much sex other people are having? Through social networks, says Professor Wadsworth, both on- and off-line. Then there are frequent media polls and even the gossip down the pub. Through these means we build up an idea of how much sex someone in our situation might be expected to have. If we beat the average, we’re happy.

But for the good of your own relationship, how much sex should men be having (assuming your personal answer is not just “more than them next door”)? Experts put the usual proviso on this information: every relationship is different, they say, and the amount of sex you need is the amount that makes both partners happy.

But one or two have put their heads above the parapet and tried to quantify just how much sex most of us should expect, if we’re in a sexual relationship.

Sex and relationship expert Dr Gail Saltz, for instance, has said this about sexual frequency: “If your sex drives are out of balance, your aim is to meet in the middle, having sex a bit more than one partner likes but probably a bit less than the other likes.”

In other words, both partners should compromise to get to a level of sexual frequency that suits their relationship.

Sex councillor Ian Kerner is even more specific: “While there may be no one right answer to the question of how often couples should have sex, lately I’ve been less equivocal and (started) advising couples to try to do it at least once a week. That’s because I believe that sex ruts are becoming epidemic.”

Pencilling in sex at least once a week means sex becomes a habit, something you fit in however busy or stressed you are. Once a week means you’ll get all the health and wellbeing benefits, too. But remember, Kerner says “at least” once a week. So the more you have the better.

How much sex do people have?

Most experts agree that the amount of sex you have will depend on you and your relationship, and that the ideal frequency is tricky to pin down.

But they do know how much sex most of us are having, on average.

Research suggests that for married couples under 30 years of age the frequency (on average) is about twice a week.  For married couples between the ages of 50 and 59, the frequency is about once a week. In the intervening years the frequency is somewhere between the two.

Those figures don’t tell us if everybody is happy with that amount of sex, and of course it only covers married couples. People also tend to have more sex in the early stages of a relationship and less later on.

But the average does suggest that a natural sexual frequency is something like once or twice a week in a committed, long term relationship.

Many couples will be happy with less, and others will be at it every night, but if you’re up with the average at least you can say this: your neighbors are unlikely to be having much more sex than you, and may be having less. So you can stop stressing about what’s happening next door and start enjoying what’s happening in your own bedroom.

Kissing is an art – and follows some rules

Kissing is an art and experts say you must follow some rules. Here are some pointers

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Over its 100 years of existence, Indian cinema has thrown up various lip-lock scenes – from Devika Rani to Rani Mukerji; from Himanshu Rai to serial kisser Emraan Hashmi, and now the small screen is not far behind either. But looking at making your own experience special? Here’s how!

Kissing is an art and experts say you must follow some rules. Firstly, lovers should be careful about hygiene, says Shikha Giri, consultant prosthodontist and implantologist.

“Brushing your teeth is very important. One should do it after dinner and after breakfast. In the morning, you should just massage your gums with your fingers and should brush your teeth after breakfast, this will control germ buildup,” Giri told IANS.

If reports are to be believed, Hollywood actress Julia Roberts’ fetish for peanut butter sandwiches left her with bad breath, making it difficult to shoot love scenes with co-star Clive Owen in “Duplicity”. So, she used to freshen up before filming the intimate scenes.

For those aware of their bad breath, dental expert Rachana Doshi suggests the use of a mouthwash as it gives “a fresh breath every time you use it and also causes less germ buildup”.

It could be a French kiss or a woodpecker kiss; so another important tip is to ensure your lips aren’t dry. Moisten them.

Of course, hygiene goes a long way in enhancing the lip-locking experience, but it goes much beyond that, feels Harsh Mahajan, a student, as his romantic moment went awry because his girlfriend was not ready for it.

“Me and my girl had just started dating and to have some private time, we went to Manali. It started raining, we were a little wet and I thought it would be romantic to have our first kiss there. When I tried to lean over to kiss her, she chickened out as she was not prepared,” Mahajan explained to IANS without any self-consciousness.

What can lovers do to avoid a kissing fiasco?

Don’t bite your partner’s lips, says Faraaz Kazi, author of romantic novel “Truly Madly Deeply“, and, to relish the moment, avoid keeping your eyes open.

“Don’t lose the nose contact. Don’t force yourself on your partner and don’t get to the crux of the moment immediately,” he said on kissing techniques.

After getting the basics right, lovers can make it better by forgetting apprehensions.

“I believe that the company matters, the place doesn’t. So the company can make any place better,” said Kazi.

And then, just follow your heart – or maybe your screen idol!

“Just follow your heart and go with the flow. By going with the flow, I mean just close your eyes, tilt your head and you will be there,” added Kazi.

So when everything is in place, just close your eyes and feel the moment!