PUMP YOURSELF UP
You’re nervous because you think she can see your faults. Guess what? She’ll see them only if you show them to her. So before you approach her, take a minute or two to boost your own confidence: Remind yourself why you rock and then visualize those traits front and center as you interact with her. Do you have an amazing sense of humor? Visualize her laughing, and that talent may be more likely to break through. Dashing blue eyes? See her staring into
EASE INTO THE CONVERSATION
Wait for an opportune time to approach her one-on-one (when her friend goes to the bathroom, or she steps up to the jukebox alone). You don’t want to interrupt or surprise her; that’ll put her on the defense. As you initiate conversation, keep your shoulders back and hands at your sides—a warm, welcoming stance. Open with a polite “Excuse me…” instead of an intrusive “Hey” or “What’s up?”
SAY SOMETHING NICE
A pickup artist might tell you that a backhanded compliment will pique a woman’s interest because she’s already heard all the nice compliments. Don’t believe it: You’ll just have to use the right compliment. Instead of complimenting a physical trait, like her eyes or hair (or worse), ask her about that funky piece of jewelry or cool T-shirt she’s wearing. This diverts the conversation from her, which she’ll appreciate, and her answer will provide jumping-off points for more topics.
SEAL THE DEAL
Because you approached her, it’s your responsibility to proffer your number first. (That whole “Are you on Facebook?” thing is lame.) And give her a reason for contacting you: “If you really want to catch that new Wes Anderson movie, why don’t I text you next weekend when it’s out?” You’ll reinforce the fact that you’re interested in her while keeping the talk cool, confident, and casual.