Men ‘preheated’ for sex but women warm up slowly

Know why most of men just rush for sex and ignore the vital art of whole-body lovemaking? Read on!

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Learning the reasons for this difference can help men become better lovers,” said a report published by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) – a US-based nonprofit advocacy group that helps people 50 and older improve quality of their lives.

Recent research shows that women experience libido as an urge far less compelling than that.

“A University of British Columbia survey interviewed hundreds of women who reported feeling ‘erotically neutral’ at the start of sex. Only when they started making love – and enjoyed it – did they warm up and feel actual desire,” the report added.

According to sex therapists, men become intimate to gain sex whereas women have sex to gain intimacy.

Men should try sex based on gentle, whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals but does not fixate on them.

“The genitals are important but so is every other part of women’s bodies. Men who rush into genital sex are clueless about women,” the report quoted New York sex educator Betty Dodson as saying.

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A special touch can make a difference

It seems all we need is an affectionate feel of our partner to be cheerful in life and take on the worldcp.jpg

As a British survey has shown how being busy, stressed and tired is starving Britons of their share of much-needed kisses and cuddles from the loved ones. In a survey of 2,000 people in relationships, two-thirds said they felt “starved” of physical affection even though they were in a happy relationship, Daily Mail reported.

Three out of five people in a relationship said they wish they could spend more time kissing and cuddling with their partner. Almost a third of couples, however, admitted they can go for days without touching each other.

Over 80 percent rated skin contact with their partner as important while more than half said touching and being touched made them feel closer to their loved one.

The survey also revealed women feeling their partner’s touch being actually the cheapest and most effective beauty booster.

During the poll, the people said just their partner’s touch could make 40 percent of women feel more attractive.

Susan Quilliam, a sex and relationship expert from Durex, who commissioned the survey, said: “All the research suggests that couples who reach out to each other physically feel more positive not only about themselves but also about each other.”

Many of the couples admitted that they thought regular sex was the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

Eight out of 10 Britons rated a touch as the most important element in their relationship. Many couples said they kissed or cuddled once or twice a day.

Skin intimacy specialist Abigail James said relationships and people’s wellbeing will benefit from increased daily affection.

“There’s no doubt that touch is great for your skin. As a therapist you learn very early on the huge mental, health and beauty benefits positive touch can have.”

“Having sex releases a hormone called DHEA, which is thought to increase your production of collagen and sebum which help keep skin looking youthful by making it firmer, smoother and balancing oil production.”

Top 10 Signs You’ve Found The One!

Wonder if he or she is the one in your life? While there isn’t a fool-proof test to ascertain that, there are a few signs you can watch out for…

10 signs you have found ‘the one’:

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1. When the time is right!

For many, relationships are fraught with obstacles. There is always something that keeps them from enjoying it the way it is. It might be a stressful job or lack of money. And both people in the relationship feel when the problem is resolved, they’ll be truly happy together. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

When you’ve met the one, you’ll embrace each other no matter what the situation. A happy well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what should or could be. The two will share a comfort level that enables them to support each other through a crisis rather than wait upon it to resolve to be content together.

2. You are comfortable being you.

You know you have met the one when your partner loves you for exactly what and who you are. When there is complete acceptance of each other, the relationship is more fulfilling. This doesn’t mean one condones bad behaviour or such.

So if the person isn’t critical of your every move, and if you are comfortable just being you when you’re around the person – it’s a sign that he/she is worth spending your life together.

3. Open communication.

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation to illustrate this: There are two couples, couple X and couple Y. Both these couples have been together for the same amount of time. Couple X has frequent conflict, couple Y has never had one. Who among the two has a healthy relationship?

If you’re answer was couple Y, you’re wrong. It’s impossible for two people who’re together to have no conflict at all. In the case of couple Y, it’s most likely that one or both partners is not forthcoming about problems. The needs of one or both partners isn’t being voiced and hence not addressed.

So how you communicate your needs and manage conflict is a significant pointer.

4. There’s no relationship anxiety.

If you find yourself constantly worrying about insignificant things in the relationship, then stop and introspect. When you’ve met the one, there is less anxiety about the relationship.

5. Trust your gut.

Examine your true feeling. How do you feel when you are around him or her? If you’re at ease and truly feel he’s the one, then go for it. Listen to your gut, and you’ll know whether this one is for keeps.

6. There is no drama.

If he/she is the one, it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect together. Rather look at conflict when it arises and try to make the relationship work.

When in conflict, how do you two deal with it? Is there a lot of yelling and shouting or do you hear each other out and acknowledge one another’s feelings?

If there is drama, there is manipulation, abuse and the kind. It’s best to re-examine your relationship before you fully commit, if this is the case.

7. Your closed ones see what you see!

If the people who love you are asking you to get away from him/her, then you might want to take a second look. Sometimes, however, your friends/family might push for a relationship that you have no interest in. In such cases, it’s not wise to follow their lead.

8. You remain a priority in your life.

If you find yourself changing your priorities in life to accommodate that person, it shows that you’re undermining your own importance and needs. This could well amount to you getting carried away in the relationship you are in. In the long term, this just won’t work.

You know the person is for keeps, when you remain a priority in your life while you’re in the relationship. And how does he/she feel about it? This one is also about whether you – personally — are ready for a long-term relationship.

9. The compatibility factor.

It’s true that opposites attract, however, such relationships don’t stand the test of time. What matters most in a long-term — committed relationship — is compatibility. This doesn’t mean the two are completely alike, rather the stress is on a strong common ground. Your life values, career goals, and priorities ought to be compatible for a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

10. Mutual respect.

Respect for each other is the foundation of all relationships, and certainly is in a couple’s relationship. There is no way you can build a lasting, secure relationship without this.

10 ways to understand your woman better

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1. It takes very little to please a woman – a hug, a smile, a look even at the right time is all it takes to make things better! And then you saywomen are complicated!2. Women can lie when they need to and do it rather well. But if you’re clever enough you’ll know the difference in the tone – they’ll usually be unusually nice and sweet to cover up for the lie! But don’t be silly and doubt her when she happens to just feel more expressive and affectionate! That’s where your smartness will lie.. in knowing the difference!3. All women don’t like playing mother to their men, so sit up and take some responsibility. We too like being the child every now and then you know.. So don’t over-rely on us for domestic needs, and once in a while do something special to pamper us too!

4. Don’t blame all fights and bad moods on PMS! Some of us don’t have it and for the ones that do, it’s not the only thing that irritates women. YOU men too can be the cause sometimes. And even if it is PMS, saying it’s because of that in the middle of a fight WILL NOT help! I would suggest stay mum, and we’ll probably realise it later anyway!

5. Women never dress well for just their own man, they do it for all the eyes in the room (including the women!). So beware when your girl’s all decked up, she might just be more happygetting someone else’s attention! The only thing you can do is give her the most attention, so she doesn’t have the scope to look elsewhere!

6. We can be really messy too so don’t expect us to clean up after you. And anyways, lacey brasand thongs lying around the room are more pleasing to the eyes than dirty boxers and y-fronts!

7. We need some major alone and me-time too! So if you have your boy escapade-trips, we girls have our own too! And it’s really not necessary for us to travel in a huge gang of girls. We can just take off alone! Makes the world seem more interesting that way and more chances of adventure! Haha!

8. We do seem to have some strange inexplicable attraction to men who are labelled ‘bad’, ‘unavailable’ or ‘not meant for us’. Not our fault that it’s only these men who seem to have more to offer in terms of personality and wicked charm!

9. If you wait a week or more to text us once you have our number, you better have an interesting story to back up for your laziness like skiing in Vermont or backpacking across the Pyrenees. Nothing else will qualify. Once you have our number, we expect a courtesy call or text message right away.

10. We’ve heard that guys like girls who aren’t ashamed to eat and drink well in front of them. So unless we have mayo dribbling down our chin or have drunk way too much to do anything expect throw-up, why would you judge us by our weight? Be and let be.

How to Impress a Girl on Chat

We live in the virtual age where human relationships are no longer bound to physical meetings.

 First chats are like first dates, where guys have no more than a few minutes to impress the girl. If you want to create the good first impression, let this guide show you the way.

chatflirt1. Be Confident: You probably have heard this one before, but it actually works! When you meet a girl in reality, you may get intimidated by her physical presence. Chatting gives men the power to get over this. You are at an advantage of being yourself without constantly worrying about
being judged for your looks or actions. Confidence is a game-changer and one of the biggest attractive qualities in a man.

2. Be Interested: Women hate men tooting their own horn excessively. However, they feel worse if you assume a disinterested and silent stance throughout the conversation. Men are expected to show that they are interested in knowing about the girl as well. So, be inquisitive and ask questions. What does she like? Why does she like it? This will keep the girl hooked to the conversation. However, take care not to sound nosy. Giving someone their required space, even if it is online, is essential.

3. Be Caring: Considering that you have been speaking to this girl for some time, showing signs that you care about her life is a very positive technique to use. If she had a rough day at work, be sure to put her at ease during the conversation. Did she have a headache the previous day? Ask her how she is feeling today. Showing concern will make her feel important. Listening to what she has to say will give you a place in her good books instantly.

4. Be Inquisitive to See Her: After having built a rapport with a girl, and having realised that she likes speaking to you, it is time to take things to the next level. You can express a desire to see her. Webcams enable people to see each other while talking, in a few simple clicks. However, you need to know the right time to pop this question. Asking to view her through a webcam too early in the association might make you come across as someone who pays a great deal of attention to physical beauty. To a woman that is the worst thing a man can do. However, asking her for the webcam, after knowing her for some time, will make her feel comfortable.

5. Be Genuinely Charming: A man’s charming manner can be the greatest tool at his disposal, even when it comes to displaying it over the Internet. Once you have seen her, be sure to compliment her beauty. Be original. When it comes to compliments, women expect men not to be cheesy about it. Women love people they can feel safe with. Humour her. Make her laugh. Compliment her in a way that makes her blush and laugh at the same time. Not only will you come across as someone with a quirky sense of humour, but your gesture will be endearing to her too.

There are certain subtle nuances when it comes to impressing women, and men need to understand them completely before making a move. By following these guidelines, one can expect to surely win a lady’s hear across cyberspace.

 

5 Things You Can Tell About Her in 5 Seconds

Be careful: That babe you’re eyeing may not be as nice as she looks. New research in the journalPsychological Sciencefinds that attractive people tend to be more self-promoting, needy, and less concerned about others than their lesser-looking counterparts. The problem? You’re more likely to view a “10″ as a successful, social butterfly than a pompous conformist.

Blame something called the “halo effect”—your instinct to associate outer beauty with inner good—for why you’re fooled into thinking she’s perfect.

So before you make your approach (and start idealizing fallacies), here are five things that you actually can tell about her in 5 seconds or less.

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1. If she looks out of place, she could be there on purpose.
She’s savvy enough to know the proper dress code for a dive bar. So if she’s dressed to the nines, she’s probably not there for the beer list, says Tracey Steinberg, dating and flirting expert. Women go places all the time specifically to meet men. There’s your green light.

2. If she’s drinking red, she could want more sex.
. . . Or maybe she just likes like the taste. Italian researchers found that women who drank two glasses of red wine per day craved sex more frequently than women who drank less often. They credit the polyphenols that may improve blood flow down below.

3. If she’s wide-eyed, she could be adventurous.
Check out her pupils to see if she’s feisty. Florida State University researchers watched a woman and a man alone in a room and found that when the woman looked at the man with wide eyes, lifted eyebrows, and sidelong glances, she had higher levels of sexual openness. (Want more bizarre ways to see if she’s horny?

4. If she’s sporty, she’s not too concerned about your looks.
Meet a cute woman at the weight rack? Don’t worry about being sweaty. Athletic women tend to be less choosy when it comes to a guy’s look, say Polish researchers. Why? Heavier women (who don’t have an athletic body type) have more body fat—and thus more estrogen—which makes them more likely to seek out a dude with great genes, like symmetry in the face and a strong jaw.

5. If she seems like an ice queen, she may have been around the block.
Psychologists say standoffish women aren’t as inclined to form romantic connections—therefore they have more hookups. But don’t worry if she’s a little icy: Villanova researchers found that ladies with cold personalities tend to have more sexual partners than those with more mild personalities.

Reboot your relationship

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Off button: You’ve stopped chasing her

Women are socially and evolutionarily conditioned to get off on the thrill of being chased and putting potential mates through their paces. Without this pursuit, her excitatory neurotransmitters – epinephrine and norepinephrine – become lazy and don’t give her the same libido-lifting chemical hit. Which means dull sex for both of you.

On button: Get physical

University of California studies have shown that just one hour of exercise for a woman, three times a week, makes for more sex, stronger orgasms and a closer relationship. Plus, research published in Scientific American found the best way to jump-start those neurotransmitters is with physical exercise. This not only boosts her epinephrine and norepinephrine, but also increases blood flow to her genitals, making her orgasms easier and more frequent.

Can’t persuade her to join the gym? Plan B is to spank her. According to scientists at Northern Illinois University, women get a jolt of testosterone when they are spanked: it’s the body’s way of coping with the ‘stress’. Just be sure to ask her first: the testosterone rush isn’t as great from a slap in the face.

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Off button: She knows your moves

The average couple have sex more than 3,000 times during their relationship. If you don’t shake up your routine she’ll find her orgasms are less intense and harder to come by. Edging Sophie Kinsella above you in the bedtime pecking order.

On button: Start a new relationship

Not with the MILF next door, with your partner. “At the start of a relationship, sex is going to be very hit and miss, but later, you think you’re supposed to know what you’re doing – and most men are afraid of looking stupid,” says sex and relationship counsellor Tracey Cox, author of Sextasy. However, unlike the early days, you’re comfortable enough to ask more detailed questions (‘Faster or slower?’ ‘Right or left?’) to which she can give one-word responses. You’ll be sure to hit the spot…

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Off button: A nasty case of cohabitation

If the closet thing you get to dinner and a movie now is a microwave meal in front of The X Factor, it’s not your fault. Harvard University scientists found your levels of testosterone – the hormone that makes you want to impress your mate – will drop significantly once you’re coupled-up. The study’s authors concluded it was nature’s way of ‘civilising’ men, so they’ll take the time to look after offspring instead of pestering their partner for sex (or sit and watch The X Factorwithout complaining).

On button: The pub quiz

It’ll only take you seven minutes to re-kindle her interest. Studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who indulged in ‘fun but novel’ activities for this period of time felt closer to each other. Create your own lab tests with a quiz. Just don’t let her catch you with your mobile under the table.

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Off button: Her daily routine is dragging you down

If she’s stuck in a career rut, it’s your relationship that will pay the price, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Researchers found that if she feels trapped doing the nine-to-five and powerless to change her circumstances, she’ll project that boredom onto you, and try to create ‘excitement’ by picking arguments.

On button: Buy her yoga lessons

Help her channel that wasted energy by doing some yoga. A recent study published in Qualitative Research in Psychology found that women who took part in Ashtanga yoga were less bored than women who tried other means to combat their malaise. Yoga teaches you to relax, stay calm and learn patience. Added bonus: she’ll hone a smoking-hot body.

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Off button: You’re a man of few words

According to a survey of 1,000 women by Women’s Health magazine, during their first 12 months together, 68% of couples talk after sex. But after that first anniversary, only a third bother. “You may think you know everything about your partner after a few years, but that’s not true,” says Dr Noelle Nelson, author of Your Man Is Wonderful. “People grow and change throughout their lives. When you lose interest in finding out what makes her tick, she’ll lose interest in you.”

On button: Engage her tongue

“Take advantage of her post-coital, semi-sleepy state by asking some ‘Have you ever…?’ questions,” says Tracey Cox. Don’t worry if you’ve asked her before, her answers will change over time as she gets more sexually confident. Make sure to mix romance and sex into the same question. “Save the really rude requests for when she’s fully aroused.” And preferably under a full moon/naked on a beach/tied up…