Men ‘preheated’ for sex but women warm up slowly

Know why most of men just rush for sex and ignore the vital art of whole-body lovemaking? Read on!

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Learning the reasons for this difference can help men become better lovers,” said a report published by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) – a US-based nonprofit advocacy group that helps people 50 and older improve quality of their lives.

Recent research shows that women experience libido as an urge far less compelling than that.

“A University of British Columbia survey interviewed hundreds of women who reported feeling ‘erotically neutral’ at the start of sex. Only when they started making love – and enjoyed it – did they warm up and feel actual desire,” the report added.

According to sex therapists, men become intimate to gain sex whereas women have sex to gain intimacy.

Men should try sex based on gentle, whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals but does not fixate on them.

“The genitals are important but so is every other part of women’s bodies. Men who rush into genital sex are clueless about women,” the report quoted New York sex educator Betty Dodson as saying.

PDA: How Much is Too Much?

Many a times, you and your loved one would be in a public place

just being yourselves and for no probable reason you keep getting glances from every passerby. The reason for those queer glances is most probably your public display of affection or PDA for your partner. Now, there are no set norms which apply to PDA but there are certain guidelines you should adhere to, depending on the place you are in. Below are some pointers that would help you keep within the acceptable social limits of PDA.

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1. Mind Your Surroundings

The famous quote from ‘Batman Begins’ surprisingly also holds good for PDA. At busy public spaces like metro stations, restaurants and malls, it is best to keep your display of affection limited. However, it is best to steer clear of any PDA at workplaces and religious places.

2. Draw the Line

Holding hands, light cuddling and hugs pass off as acceptable public displays of affection, but make sure you are not too obtrusive while doing these things. However, long kisses, smooches, groping, and fondling are areas regarded as strictly unacceptable. Getting too intimate may not only invite frowns, but it can also make your partner uncomfortable.

3. Judge the Situation

Strolling down the park holding hands with your partner is something perfectly acceptable and rather a pleasing sight. However, doing the same on a crowded street may seem a bit distasteful. It is best to analyse the situation and try to think from the perspective of a third person.

4. Consult your Partner

It is possible that your partner may feel uncomfortable with things that don’t even qualify for PDA. Making an assumption about the comfort level of your partner is not the best of ways. It is always preferable to initiate a discussion with your partner to be clear about the situations or actions that might make her uncomfortable.

5. Alcohol

Under the influence of alcohol, it is convenient for things to spiral out of control. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and instils a complete disregard for your surroundings. It is best not to engage in any PDA while you are drunk as things are bound to get loose and cause embarrassment to you.

Public displays of affection are not necessarily synonymous with vulgar or inappropriate. They may even help to further strengthen a relationship. PDAs can also be regarded as a mutual gesture for showing conformity of love for each other. The main thing here is to take into account that you are not making those gestures at the expense of others. If your actions make the people around you uncomfortable, it is best not to indulge in such actions on the basic principles of civility. And if you really just cannot help showing your love for your partner then you should indeed ‘get a room’.

Top Ten Signs You’ve Found The One!

Wonder if he or she is the one in your life? While there isn’t a fool-proof test to ascertain that, there are a few signs you can watch out for….

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Wonder if he or she is the one in your life? While there isn’t a fool-proof test to ascertain that, there are a few signs you can watch out for…

Looking into the future.

If you’re trying to figure out if you have found ‘the one’, take a look at this list. If you can tick against all the items below, then give that relationship a chance to become all that it possibly can.

Ten signs you have found ‘the one’:

1. When the time is right!

For many, relationships are fraught with obstacles. There is always something that keeps them from enjoying it the way it is. It might be a stressful job or lack of money. And both people in the relationship feel when the problem is resolved, they’ll be truly happy together. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

When you’ve met the one, you’ll embrace each other no matter what the situation. A happy well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what should or could be. The two will share a comfort level that enables them to support each other through a crisis rather than wait upon it to resolve to be content together.

2. You are comfortable being you.

You know you have met the one when your partner loves you for exactly what and who you are. When there is complete acceptance of each other, the relationship is more fulfilling. This doesn’t mean one condones bad behaviour or such.

So if the person isn’t critical of your every move, and if you are comfortable just being you when you’re around the person – it’s a sign that he/she is worth spending your life together.

3. Open communication.

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation to illustrate this: There are two couples, couple X and couple Y. Both these couples have been together for the same amount of time. Couple X has frequent conflict, couple Y has never had one. Who among the two has a healthy relationship? If you’re answer was couple Y, you’re wrong. It’s impossible for two people who’re together to have no conflict at all. In the case of couple Y, it’s most likely that one or both partners is not forthcoming about problems. The needs of one or both partners isn’t being voiced and hence not addressed.

So how you communicate your needs and manage conflict is a significant pointer.

4. There’s no relationship anxiety.

If you find yourself constantly worrying about insignificant things in the relationship, then stop and introspect. When you’ve met the one, there is less anxiety about the relationship.

5. Trust your gut.

Examine your true feeling. How do you feel when you are around him or her? If you’re at ease and truly feel he’s the one, then go for it. Listen to your gut, and you’ll know whether this one is for keeps.

6. There is no drama.

If he/she is the one, it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect together. Rather look at conflict when it arises and try to make the relationship work. When in conflict, how do you two deal with it? Is there a lot of yelling and shouting or do you hear each other out and acknowledge one another’s feelings? If there is drama, there is manipulation, abuse and the kind. It’s best to re-examine your relationship before you fully commit, if this is the case.

7. Your closed ones see what you see!

If the people who love you are asking you to get away from him/her, then you might want to take a second look. Sometimes, however, your friends/family might push for a relationship that you have no interest in. In such cases, it’s not wise to follow their lead.

8. You remain a priority in your life.

If you find yourself changing your priorities in life to accommodate that person, it shows that you’re undermining your own importance and needs. This could well amount to you getting carried away in the relationship you are in. In the long term, this just won’t work. You know the person is for keeps, when you remain a priority in your life while you’re in the relationship. And how does he/she feel about it? This one is also about whether you – personally — are ready for a long-term relationship.

9. The compatibility factor.

It’s true that opposites attract, however, such relationships don’t stand the test of time. What matters most in a long-term — committed relationship — is compatibility. This doesn’t mean the two are completely alike, rather the stress is on a strong common ground. Your life values, career goals, and priorities ought to be compatible for a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

10. Mutual respect.

Respect for each other is the foundation of all relationships, and certainly is in a couple’s relationship. There is no way you can build a lasting, secure relationship without this.