6 Sex Mistakes You’re Making

Want to have more sex? Make it about discovery again. Bust out of your romance rut and jumpstart your sex life by breaking these six relationship routines.

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SEX IS A RACE

Break it: Explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina, and don’t cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author ofDifferent Loving. You’ll ignite her nerve endings and bring her close to her red zone. It makes sex about discovery, not some destination. “Goal-oriented sex isn’t sexy,” Brame says.

SAME TIME, SAME PLACE

Break it: Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim the space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it’s steeped in testosterone, and there’s a throwback, high-school quality to it. Make it a quickie, which has its place in the sexual diet; having lots of sex begets more sex, because you stay connected, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.

PREDICTABLE FOREPLAY

Break it: Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. “She’ll feel the sex is about her and not some random need she has to accommodate,” says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Washington University. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone,  a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

LOPSIDED FIRST MOVES

Break it: Tie her hands. It’s now up to her to figure out how to remove your shirt, tie, cuff links, and pants. You’ll share a few laughs and marvel at her ingenuity. Whether you tie her up or she binds you,  the game will break your predictable, first-move habits. The bonus: “It acts as an automatic foreplay extender,” says Berman.

TV, THEN SEX

Break it: Read to her. It doesn’t have to be erotica. It’s an intimate activity that makes her focus on your voice. The deeper, the better. Low voices are a sign of high testosterone, which ups her attraction to you, according to a Scottish study. Read lying in bed with your head up, to dip an octave; it forces you to push air with your diaphragm instead of your lungs.

HABITUAL HAND HOLDING

Break it: Caress her neck. Sure, holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac: It shows her you’re devoted and proud to tell the world. But after a while, its poignancy wanes. A stepped-up PDA will deepen her connection to you, so she’ll be more willing to really give herself to you in the bedroom, says Schwartz.

 

Bring Spice Back In Your Sex Life

Sex can become dull and monotonous if you don’t keep the spark alive and the spontaneity flowing. Let me tell you the various things that women like and dislike in bed.

Use these 10 very useful tips and keep the passion flowing through your relationship.

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1. Go the extra mile

If you get into bed every night and she knows what is going to happen, how dull can that be! Change the routine because routine is boring. Go the extra mile and please her. Spend more time on her than usual. Go down on her, kiss her everywhere, and make it more about her than you. Surprise her and you will reap the benefits as well.



2. Be spontaneous

If you are in bed, or even prior to going to bed, don’t ask her for ‘permission’ to have sex. What a way to turn her off! Show her you want to have sex. Don’t force yourself on her, turn her on instead. Maybe that means kissing her on the back or the neck. Find out what gives you permission without actually asking it.



3. Get busy anywhere

Variety is the key to a successful sex life. Use the kitchen floor, the stairs, the shower, the couch and even the dining table! Making love in different places adds variety.



4. Try out new sex positions

Get Kamasutra savvy. Shun the missionary style, experiment with different sex positions like the doggy style, woman on top and many more, which will not only stir up your sex life but also help your woman orgasm better.



5. Share a fantasy

Not only can curiosity be sexy, it also has the power to shift your relationship, from being boring to exiting. Too many people have ‘psychic sex,’ they think they know what the other person wants, when often they may be hiding the same desires. Talk it out then act it out!



6. Get the romance back

Women love romance. You don’t have to cook a 3 course meal, or buy her sexy lingerie, romance can be as simple as telling your girl that she is beautiful, or bringing a bottle of wine home and taking time out for the both of you. Suggest a walk together, or a bath. Romance is so diverse. Surprise her. If you never take a walk together, suggest going for a walk and finish it with a glass of wine or coffee, whatever suits you both.



7. Experiment with your girl

Whatever you do don’t go through the motions when having sex. Don’t be afraid to try things out with her. Ask her what she likes, what positions she prefers, what fantasies she has, what she likes you doing to her. Talking about your sex life is a great way to make sure it doesn’t go downhill.



8. Tell her – You love it!

Make sure you let her know that you are enjoying having sex with her. Keep touching and kissing her, let her know that you are into her. Whisper in her ear how beautiful she is. If she isn’t used to this, it is sure to send shivers down her spine.



9. Moan & murmur

Make noises as well. If you aren’t comfortable making noises, start out softly. This will show her you are enjoying every moment; it will arouse her more and may also encourage her to make noises as well.



10. Ignore the clock

Stop viewing sex as a night time activity; you may be too tired to do it then anyway. Make a date, take time off your work and plan to meet at home in the afternoon, for a session of hot steamy sex. This will add some much needed spice in you love life. Making love at night time just becomes monotonous. Variety is the spice of a great sex life!

Effective Tips to Keep Your Girl Satisfied

If you have been wondering about how to keep your girl satisfied,

constantly worrying that lately she doesn’t seem to be as excited in your company in the way she used to be earlier, you need to shake yourself and start searching for answers. For starters, understand that keeping a girl satisfied is more about the cerebral thing, i.e. emotional satisfaction, apart from the usual ingredients like making intimacy more pleasurable. You need to ensure that you arouse, satisfy and still keep her hungry for more from an intellectual and sexual perspective. The following tips might help you understand how to approach this slightly complex niche:

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Be More Attentive

Yes, most women are blabber-mouths and your girlfriend too just cannot stop yapping. You have developed a sort of mental immunity to what she talks about, usually ignoring the details and subtle hints that might be camouflaged in her verbose chatter. Try to pay more attention and pick-up such signals. She might be hinting at things missing from your relationship. Further, when you listen attentively, chances are that you will discover more things about her, including her personality traits and interests. This gives you more reasons to talk about, make your conversations inclined more towards her interests, presenting you as a seriously caring boyfriend. Most women feel flattered when their men tend to remember the smaller things and take interest in seemingly trivial pursuits.

Be Random, Unpredictable

Women like men with a bit of mystique and a few surprises. You don’t need to turn into a stuntman to satiate her appetite for being surprised. Just do the normal things in a different way. For instance, you could suggest joining yoga or swimming classes
together or taking a trip on a sport’s bike. Offer to teach her driving if she seems afraid to get behind the wheel or show-up with a totally unexpected gift for her. Invite her to a unisex salon where the two of you could get streaks of the same shade.
The idea is to kill the monotony in the relationship to ensure that you are keeping your girl satisfied. Dump emailing and sending SMS to her. Instead, try the snail mail for expressing your love.

Be More Nurturing

They say women are born with a maternal instinct and naturally tend to care more than men. This is true but this doesn’t mean that she has got to nurture you while you sit back and enjoy being taken care of—rise up to the challenge and reversing the
role for a few days. This is not about pampering her more but nurturing where you need to take care of her smallest needs and be more compassionate. For instance, is she complains of headaches, give her a gentle shoulder or head massage. Tell your
girlfriend
 that you will accompany her to her next appointment with the dentist. Seek couple packages at spas and wellness centers and tell her that you are doing it since you are constantly worried about her being overworked or stressed.

Giving-in To What She Yearns For

It could be that your girlfriend is satisfied but you are limiting her freedom to the extent that she feels a bit suffocated and thus, unhappy. You need to be more adjusting here. Give her more time to spend with her friends. If this means checking upon her daily schedule a bit less frequently and not asking her whereabouts all the time, just do it. Any relationship that borders on being too restrictive doesn’t have a very long lifespan.

Never Stop Experimenting in Bed

If you two have graduated to a deep level of intimacy, it could be that sex is getting too predictable to keep your woman satisfied. You need to spice-up your love life. The best approach towards this is having a teenager-like mentality to explore what else you guys can do. For instance, watch some porn together and mark-out sexual positions you could try. You need to understand that the body’s sensitivity and the degree of arousal level achieved can decrease over a period if the same positions and spots are repeated. Try to search and enact roleplay themes that interest both of you. Sometimes, couples who have a decent degree of bedroom time, tend to lose focus of how trivial things in life too could be erotic.
This includes getting naughty at the movie hall, catching a kiss in the parking lot or groping her seductively (and secretly) in the elevator. The idea is to keep adding a new dimension to your intimacy every time it seems that things are getting a bit uninteresting for either of you. If you have been the dominant partner so far, let her take over for a few weeks in the bedroom.

Getting Her To Initiate Sex

o, you took The Player’s tips and manage to get a girl. Good. Now it’s time for some love (read sex). However, if you thought the Game is over, you’re very wrong my friend – getting your woman to initiate sex is a Game for senior players.

I can safely assume a lot of you have never had ‘great sex’. Only true Players can ever achieve that. Put yourself in The Player’s shoes for a second and imagine what it feels like to be able to say that only you have had great sex. Now I want you to imagine something else. Imagine what it would be like to have sex with a woman who wants it more than you do. Think about that for a second.

This is a rarity for the simple reason, because we want it more. Men love sex in a way women never will, and that’s why, always, sooner or later, it’s the man practically (or literally) lands up begging for it, even in a relationship. Right? I mean, that’s what conventional wisdom has come up with, right? And an opinion thousands of years in the making has to have the truth behind it. We all know that.

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Wrong. So wrong. I’m ready to jump through the screen and throttle whoever came up with this brilliant idea. This is one of the greatest fallacies in all of life.

Orgasms: Men vs. Women

Men have one basic kind of orgasm. One.

It can vary in intensity, sure, and sometimes it’ll even be stimulated by something other than direct contact, but it’s really just variations on a theme. That’s just how we’re built.

For a woman, the closest thing to our one orgasm is a clitoral one. But here’s the thing: women have two or more kinds, arguably three. In addition to the clitoral, they also have the G-spot, the V-spot (deep in the vagina) and the vaginal, if you argue that isn’t related.

All those orgasms produce different feelings – feelings that men can imagine, but we can never truly know. And if a woman winds up having two or more kinds of orgasms simultaneously, watch out. During the height of perfect intimacy we can get a vicarious taste of this (practice the art of tantric sex for this) – but 999 out of 1000 male lives will never come close to approaching the levels of feeling that women can get out of sex. We’re just not built that way.

Almost makes you jealous, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, quite a few women never really explore this, and if you can learn how to help a woman along, you’ll never be alone again. But that’s a topic for another article.

Wait a sec, you think, this is supposed isn’t this supposed to be an article about relationships? Why does it only seem to be about sex?

Ah my brothers, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I just wanted to point out, first of all, that men do not have to want sex more than women. They usually don’t. Women are simply more subtle, and also more finicky (blame evolution).

Arousal: Men vs. Woman

A woman can’t be turned on just like that. I show you a naked picture of angelina jolie, within seconds you could be pounding nails with your tool. Show a woman a naked brad pitt, and you aren’t likely to get the same reaction.

While men tend to be visual, women tend to be cognitive. She needs her mind turned on before she gets in the mood.
Trust me, she wants to be in the mood, almost certainly more than you. But just because you get hard at the sight of her nightie, that doesn’t mean she’s ready.

And here’s the problem. Men get aroused so much faster than women that oftentimes they move too quickly. The woman wants sex, but not yet, and the guy is already moving fast into foreplay or, worse penetration.

For the woman, that’s just no fun. That’s not the lovemaking she wants. If you move too quick she may join in for you, but not for her. And this starts to become a pattern. Pretty soon she’s looking at sex as a chore, a way to keep you happy, but all the while she’s not being made happy.

This is when those pesky headaches start to appear.

This is when the man starts getting grabby, pawing, begging, putting himself in the position of weakness. Sex becomes less frequent, and more of a bothersome task for her. This leads to the man begging all the more, leading to the woman wanting it less and less, until it basically disappears.

The man becomes distraught, more pathetic in his attempts, and suddenly your abstinent. Or dumped. Or – worst? – cheated on. So how do you keep from letting this happen? It’s simple. Maybe hard in practice, but simple in theory.

Attack The Brain Not The Body

Don’t paw, don’t coyly place her hand on your crotch, don’t plead for a little sweetness. Never ever beg. Even if you get it that way – less and less as time goes by – the sex won’t be the kind of passionate embrace it should be.

You’ve got to learn to lean back, especially when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. You need to turn her on mentally, and let her show you when she’s ready.

Don’t worry about her knowing about you. We have a handy flag raised whenever we’re in the mood. A woman, though, needs to be turned on more patiently, much more slowly. When she’s ready to move up a level, she’ll certainly let you know, most likely in a physical way.

If you can give her a little then draw back – tease her a bit – then you’ll really start to see something. You want her pawing you. She should be begging you for sex – in a playful way, of course, but nonetheless, you should be the one holding out longer. This will help ensure that she really is in the mood by the time you get down to it – which in turn leads to amazing sex.

Retain the power and the control in the bedroom. Feel free to play around with this. Some of the most explosive sex i’ve ever had was when i’d built a woman up to great heights, and then pushed her away. A woman can get nearly violent in her passion after something like that, if she’s been built up correctly.

This sort of sexual tension works almost all the time. Of course sometimes, for whatever reason, it won’t. The key then is:

Suck It Up

Go a night without. Don’t pout. Don’t ever beg. Don’t even cajole. You might get something that moment, but you’re damaging your sex life in the long run. You are losing your attractiveness.

Remember, she’s the one who is going to be experiencing depths of feeling outside the ordinary experience of men the world over. If she knows that you can provide those feelings and you don’t do anything to screw up your sexual appeal, she will come to you.

You know, people do get real headaches sometimes. A lot of bouncing isn’t pleasant. Don’t plant unpleasant experiences in her head when she thinks of you and sex. You want them all to be great.

Now no one can be on all the time, but even if every single experience isn’t fantastic, most of them should be, and there should be no negative ones.And if she is, let her show you. Your job is to get her in the mood. After that, making love to her is something you choose to do for her.

So think about your life and think about the times you have been trying to get laid – TRYING to get laid. Listen to the way you are wording it. “I am TRYING to get laid tonight.” If you want to get laid, you need to be cool about it. If you are feeling so horny that the very sight of her cleavage makes you want to rip off her clothes, then snap a load.

Jerk off and release the testosterone before you go out on a date or invite her to your place. Do not bring all the sexual energy into the game. The cooler you are, the more suave you are and the more turned on she is going to be by you. By doing this, you start building some incredible chemistry and more often than not, the girl herself will initiate the sex.

Wild Sex versus Mild Sex

Sex has long transcended its mere function to procreate.

It is now regarded as the steamy engagement of passion and physical desires. As more couples open up their sexual prowess to wider realms of experimentation, the issue of favouring one technique over the other is often questioned. With this article in hand, those questions will now be answered.

Wild Sex Redefined

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Wild sex is all about the passionate thrusts, audible pleasures and chemistry so sizzling, that it threatens to set the air on fire. Couples are increasingly relying on vigour and aggression, to shake up their lovemaking skills. The mere thrill of the act is what makes this approach so appealing. Kinky is the new mantra, and taboo topics like mutual masturbation, prolonged foreplay, BDSM and sex toys are fast making their way into the bedroom. Wild sex has been wrongly associated with one night stands, the fact remains that it has been used to achieve newer heights of pleasure by couples in committed relationships as well. Although spontaneous attempts are more popular in achieving sexual pleasure, at times, planning to be down and dirty has its magic too. Penetrate her from behind, starting with a slow pace and eventually building up the motion. If she permits, grab her hair. The depraved treatment involved in wild sex is enough to make sex electrifying.

Do you want to experiment with BDSM? Handcuff your woman to the bed and play around with light whipping, ass spanking and genital probing. Then when she’s begging for more, take her forcefully and let your bodies do the rest. Build a natural rhythm and stop thrusting only when you need to tease her. Wild sex need not be restricted to the bedroom alone. With one’s creative imagination and unbridled passion, sexual games can be played anywhere. Is your girl a thrill seeker? Then having sex in public places will give the most intense pleasure. The degree of ‘wildness’ is dependent on the couple’s mood and the intensity of desire. Often performed insensitively, wild sex can offend your partner. So it is essential to make sure your partner feels comfortable about being adventurous.

Defining Mild Sex

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Mild sex is the comparatively intimate and gentler approach. This plays less on physical aggression and more on the emotional connect. Passionate kissing, slow but deep thrusts and loving eye contact, set the mood for this kind of lovemaking. This kind of sex induces feelings of intimacy and a sense of belonging. Set a romantic ambience. Light some scented candles. Kiss and let passions run high. Mild sex is a popular approach among women in committed relationships. Gentle caresses, oral sex, intense foreplay and long sexual intercourses are the main features. Bite her neck gently while thrusting slow and deep. Pin her arms down and keep them above her head. She will savour this feeling of surrender and will keep you coming for more.

At the end of the day, the intensity of one’s desire will be able to choose the right approach on its own. All you have to do is make her feel good; your bodies will take care of the rest. Have fun!

PDA: How Much is Too Much?

Many a times, you and your loved one would be in a public place

just being yourselves and for no probable reason you keep getting glances from every passerby. The reason for those queer glances is most probably your public display of affection or PDA for your partner. Now, there are no set norms which apply to PDA but there are certain guidelines you should adhere to, depending on the place you are in. Below are some pointers that would help you keep within the acceptable social limits of PDA.

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1. Mind Your Surroundings

The famous quote from ‘Batman Begins’ surprisingly also holds good for PDA. At busy public spaces like metro stations, restaurants and malls, it is best to keep your display of affection limited. However, it is best to steer clear of any PDA at workplaces and religious places.

2. Draw the Line

Holding hands, light cuddling and hugs pass off as acceptable public displays of affection, but make sure you are not too obtrusive while doing these things. However, long kisses, smooches, groping, and fondling are areas regarded as strictly unacceptable. Getting too intimate may not only invite frowns, but it can also make your partner uncomfortable.

3. Judge the Situation

Strolling down the park holding hands with your partner is something perfectly acceptable and rather a pleasing sight. However, doing the same on a crowded street may seem a bit distasteful. It is best to analyse the situation and try to think from the perspective of a third person.

4. Consult your Partner

It is possible that your partner may feel uncomfortable with things that don’t even qualify for PDA. Making an assumption about the comfort level of your partner is not the best of ways. It is always preferable to initiate a discussion with your partner to be clear about the situations or actions that might make her uncomfortable.

5. Alcohol

Under the influence of alcohol, it is convenient for things to spiral out of control. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and instils a complete disregard for your surroundings. It is best not to engage in any PDA while you are drunk as things are bound to get loose and cause embarrassment to you.

Public displays of affection are not necessarily synonymous with vulgar or inappropriate. They may even help to further strengthen a relationship. PDAs can also be regarded as a mutual gesture for showing conformity of love for each other. The main thing here is to take into account that you are not making those gestures at the expense of others. If your actions make the people around you uncomfortable, it is best not to indulge in such actions on the basic principles of civility. And if you really just cannot help showing your love for your partner then you should indeed ‘get a room’.

Get Her To Notice You

Let’s assume a particular scenario. You are single and have laid your eyes on a girl. The easiest thing would be to go ahead and ask her out. Pretty straightforward ain’t it?

She would either accept or reject your ‘proposal’ and the two of you would go your different ways. Now why did I emphasise on the negative? Dude that’s because that’s what you have in your mind. What if she refuses? Most guys I have spoken to are scared to ask out girls and wet their pants at the thought of rejection. That’s why we have things called pick up techniques so that you can minimise the chances of rejection.

Now how do you minimise the risk quotient before you ask the all important question? Just read through these tips and you will get your answer.

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Recognize your strengths

All of us are endowed with a special skill whether its humor, conversational ability, or athletic prowess. What are you good at? Can you sing or are you a good dancer or a good cook? Think about your number one strength and incorporate it into your dating regime.

Hang out with her friends

Now this is important. If you are able to worm your way into the social circle of this girl, then chances of engaging her in a healthy conversation definitely improve. In fact, this particular tip has worked wonders with most Indian men. Hanging out in groups will make her notice you more and will give you an opportunity to showcase those special skills of yours.

Do not chase her

Whether you manage to enter her friend circle or not, do not chase her (emotionally, I mean). Do not try sticking to her like a limpet and force your presence on her. DON’T!! You don’t want to reduce yourself to being a member of the pack of wannabe boyfriends who are trying to go after her. Now imagine if a woman notices that you happen to be the only one who’s not participating in the chase. What do you think will happen to her attraction level? You’ll only become a hotter commodity.

Be different

Be boring and your girl would start snoring. Being same as every other guy means being boring, and women aren’t attracted to boring guys. So try to be different. No, don’t rush to the salon and get yourself a Mohawk but do something that will make you stand out from the crowd. However, retain your individuality and don’t try too hard to get her to notice you. Always be conscious of your worth.

Ask interesting and meaningful questions

Most men often are complete idiots when it comes to asking questions that are both relevant and interesting. Making your questions interesting will make her enthusiastic about the answer.

Make her laugh

Never underestimate the power of laughterWomen just love men who can make them laugh. Get a girl to laugh, and half your job is done. But preserve those below the belt jokes for your guy friends. Be a little subtle in your humour and you’ll have her sniggering at your jokes.

Learn to take risks

Unless you harden your heart, and learn to take a few chances you will never be able to get romantic with your babe. Realise that you must be the one to make the first move, and ask her out. And it should be fast, because if you linger you will soon become one of her pals which you obviously don’t want to.