Getting Her To Initiate Sex

o, you took The Player’s tips and manage to get a girl. Good. Now it’s time for some love (read sex). However, if you thought the Game is over, you’re very wrong my friend – getting your woman to initiate sex is a Game for senior players.

I can safely assume a lot of you have never had ‘great sex’. Only true Players can ever achieve that. Put yourself in The Player’s shoes for a second and imagine what it feels like to be able to say that only you have had great sex. Now I want you to imagine something else. Imagine what it would be like to have sex with a woman who wants it more than you do. Think about that for a second.

This is a rarity for the simple reason, because we want it more. Men love sex in a way women never will, and that’s why, always, sooner or later, it’s the man practically (or literally) lands up begging for it, even in a relationship. Right? I mean, that’s what conventional wisdom has come up with, right? And an opinion thousands of years in the making has to have the truth behind it. We all know that.

Wrong. So wrong. I’m ready to jump through the screen and throttle whoever came up with this brilliant idea. This is one of the greatest fallacies in all of life.

Orgasms: Men vs. Women

Men have one basic kind of orgasm. One.

It can vary in intensity, sure, and sometimes it’ll even be stimulated by something other than direct contact, but it’s really just variations on a theme. That’s just how we’re built.

For a woman, the closest thing to our one orgasm is a clitoral one. But here’s the thing: women have two or more kinds, arguably three. In addition to the clitoral, they also have the G-spot, the V-spot (deep in the vagina) and the vaginal, if you argue that isn’t related.

All those orgasms produce different feelings – feelings that men can imagine, but we can never truly know. And if a woman winds up having two or more kinds of orgasms simultaneously, watch out. During the height of perfect intimacy we can get a vicarious taste of this (practice the art of tantric sex for this) – but 999 out of 1000 male lives will never come close to approaching the levels of feeling that women can get out of sex. We’re just not built that way.

Almost makes you jealous, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, quite a few women never really explore this, and if you can learn how to help a woman along, you’ll never be alone again. But that’s a topic for another article.

Wait a sec, you think, this is supposed isn’t this supposed to be an article about relationships? Why does it only seem to be about sex?

Ah my brothers, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I just wanted to point out, first of all, that men do not have to want sex more than women. They usually don’t. Women are simply more subtle, and also more finicky (blame evolution).

Arousal: Men vs. Woman

A woman can’t be turned on just like that. I show you a naked picture of angelina jolie, within seconds you could be pounding nails with your tool. Show a woman a naked brad pitt, and you aren’t likely to get the same reaction.

While men tend to be visual, women tend to be cognitive. She needs her mind turned on before she gets in the mood.
Trust me, she wants to be in the mood, almost certainly more than you. But just because you get hard at the sight of her nightie, that doesn’t mean she’s ready.

And here’s the problem. Men get aroused so much faster than women that oftentimes they move too quickly. The woman wants sex, but not yet, and the guy is already moving fast into foreplay or, worse penetration.

For the woman, that’s just no fun. That’s not the lovemaking she wants. If you move too quick she may join in for you, but not for her. And this starts to become a pattern. Pretty soon she’s looking at sex as a chore, a way to keep you happy, but all the while she’s not being made happy.

This is when those pesky headaches start to appear.

This is when the man starts getting grabby, pawing, begging, putting himself in the position of weakness. Sex becomes less frequent, and more of a bothersome task for her. This leads to the man begging all the more, leading to the woman wanting it less and less, until it basically disappears.

The man becomes distraught, more pathetic in his attempts, and suddenly your abstinent. Or dumped. Or – worst? – cheated on. So how do you keep from letting this happen? It’s simple. Maybe hard in practice, but simple in theory.

Attack The Brain Not The Body

Don’t paw, don’t coyly place her hand on your crotch, don’t plead for a little sweetness. Never ever beg. Even if you get it that way – less and less as time goes by – the sex won’t be the kind of passionate embrace it should be.

You’ve got to learn to lean back, especially when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. You need to turn her on mentally, and let her show you when she’s ready.

Don’t worry about her knowing about you. We have a handy flag raised whenever we’re in the mood. A woman, though, needs to be turned on more patiently, much more slowly. When she’s ready to move up a level, she’ll certainly let you know, most likely in a physical way.

If you can give her a little then draw back – tease her a bit – then you’ll really start to see something. You want her pawing you. She should be begging you for sex – in a playful way, of course, but nonetheless, you should be the one holding out longer. This will help ensure that she really is in the mood by the time you get down to it – which in turn leads to amazing sex.

Retain the power and the control in the bedroom. Feel free to play around with this. Some of the most explosive sex i’ve ever had was when i’d built a woman up to great heights, and then pushed her away. A woman can get nearly violent in her passion after something like that, if she’s been built up correctly.

This sort of sexual tension works almost all the time. Of course sometimes, for whatever reason, it won’t. The key then is:

Suck It Up

Go a night without. Don’t pout. Don’t ever beg. Don’t even cajole. You might get something that moment, but you’re damaging your sex life in the long run. You are losing your attractiveness.

Remember, she’s the one who is going to be experiencing depths of feeling outside the ordinary experience of men the world over. If she knows that you can provide those feelings and you don’t do anything to screw up your sexual appeal, she will come to you.

You know, people do get real headaches sometimes. A lot of bouncing isn’t pleasant. Don’t plant unpleasant experiences in her head when she thinks of you and sex. You want them all to be great.

Now no one can be on all the time, but even if every single experience isn’t fantastic, most of them should be, and there should be no negative ones.And if she is, let her show you. Your job is to get her in the mood. After that, making love to her is something you choose to do for her.

So think about your life and think about the times you have been trying to get laid – TRYING to get laid. Listen to the way you are wording it. “I am TRYING to get laid tonight.” If you want to get laid, you need to be cool about it. If you are feeling so horny that the very sight of her cleavage makes you want to rip off her clothes, then snap a load.

Jerk off and release the testosterone before you go out on a date or invite her to your place. Do not bring all the sexual energy into the game. The cooler you are, the more suave you are and the more turned on she is going to be by you. By doing this, you start building some incredible chemistry and more often than not, the girl herself will initiate the sex.

Wild Sex versus Mild Sex

Sex has long transcended its mere function to procreate.

It is now regarded as the steamy engagement of passion and physical desires. As more couples open up their sexual prowess to wider realms of experimentation, the issue of favouring one technique over the other is often questioned. With this article in hand, those questions will now be answered.

Wild Sex Redefined

Wild sex is all about the passionate thrusts, audible pleasures and chemistry so sizzling, that it threatens to set the air on fire. Couples are increasingly relying on vigour and aggression, to shake up their lovemaking skills. The mere thrill of the act is what makes this approach so appealing. Kinky is the new mantra, and taboo topics like mutual masturbation, prolonged foreplay, BDSM and sex toys are fast making their way into the bedroom. Wild sex has been wrongly associated with one night stands, the fact remains that it has been used to achieve newer heights of pleasure by couples in committed relationships as well. Although spontaneous attempts are more popular in achieving sexual pleasure, at times, planning to be down and dirty has its magic too. Penetrate her from behind, starting with a slow pace and eventually building up the motion. If she permits, grab her hair. The depraved treatment involved in wild sex is enough to make sex electrifying.

Do you want to experiment with BDSM? Handcuff your woman to the bed and play around with light whipping, ass spanking and genital probing. Then when she’s begging for more, take her forcefully and let your bodies do the rest. Build a natural rhythm and stop thrusting only when you need to tease her. Wild sex need not be restricted to the bedroom alone. With one’s creative imagination and unbridled passion, sexual games can be played anywhere. Is your girl a thrill seeker? Then having sex in public places will give the most intense pleasure. The degree of ‘wildness’ is dependent on the couple’s mood and the intensity of desire. Often performed insensitively, wild sex can offend your partner. So it is essential to make sure your partner feels comfortable about being adventurous.

Defining Mild Sex

Mild sex is the comparatively intimate and gentler approach. This plays less on physical aggression and more on the emotional connect. Passionate kissing, slow but deep thrusts and loving eye contact, set the mood for this kind of lovemaking. This kind of sex induces feelings of intimacy and a sense of belonging. Set a romantic ambience. Light some scented candles. Kiss and let passions run high. Mild sex is a popular approach among women in committed relationships. Gentle caresses, oral sex, intense foreplay and long sexual intercourses are the main features. Bite her neck gently while thrusting slow and deep. Pin her arms down and keep them above her head. She will savour this feeling of surrender and will keep you coming for more.

At the end of the day, the intensity of one’s desire will be able to choose the right approach on its own. All you have to do is make her feel good; your bodies will take care of the rest. Have fun!

PDA: How Much is Too Much?

Many a times, you and your loved one would be in a public place

just being yourselves and for no probable reason you keep getting glances from every passerby. The reason for those queer glances is most probably your public display of affection or PDA for your partner. Now, there are no set norms which apply to PDA but there are certain guidelines you should adhere to, depending on the place you are in. Below are some pointers that would help you keep within the acceptable social limits of PDA.

1. Mind Your Surroundings

The famous quote from ‘Batman Begins’ surprisingly also holds good for PDA. At busy public spaces like metro stations, restaurants and malls, it is best to keep your display of affection limited. However, it is best to steer clear of any PDA at workplaces and religious places.

2. Draw the Line

Holding hands, light cuddling and hugs pass off as acceptable public displays of affection, but make sure you are not too obtrusive while doing these things. However, long kisses, smooches, groping, and fondling are areas regarded as strictly unacceptable. Getting too intimate may not only invite frowns, but it can also make your partner uncomfortable.

3. Judge the Situation

Strolling down the park holding hands with your partner is something perfectly acceptable and rather a pleasing sight. However, doing the same on a crowded street may seem a bit distasteful. It is best to analyse the situation and try to think from the perspective of a third person.

4. Consult your Partner

It is possible that your partner may feel uncomfortable with things that don’t even qualify for PDA. Making an assumption about the comfort level of your partner is not the best of ways. It is always preferable to initiate a discussion with your partner to be clear about the situations or actions that might make her uncomfortable.

5. Alcohol

Under the influence of alcohol, it is convenient for things to spiral out of control. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and instils a complete disregard for your surroundings. It is best not to engage in any PDA while you are drunk as things are bound to get loose and cause embarrassment to you.

Public displays of affection are not necessarily synonymous with vulgar or inappropriate. They may even help to further strengthen a relationship. PDAs can also be regarded as a mutual gesture for showing conformity of love for each other. The main thing here is to take into account that you are not making those gestures at the expense of others. If your actions make the people around you uncomfortable, it is best not to indulge in such actions on the basic principles of civility. And if you really just cannot help showing your love for your partner then you should indeed ‘get a room’.

Get Her To Notice You

Let’s assume a particular scenario. You are single and have laid your eyes on a girl. The easiest thing would be to go ahead and ask her out. Pretty straightforward ain’t it?

She would either accept or reject your ‘proposal’ and the two of you would go your different ways. Now why did I emphasise on the negative? Dude that’s because that’s what you have in your mind. What if she refuses? Most guys I have spoken to are scared to ask out girls and wet their pants at the thought of rejection. That’s why we have things called pick up techniques so that you can minimise the chances of rejection.

Now how do you minimise the risk quotient before you ask the all important question? Just read through these tips and you will get your answer.

Recognize your strengths

All of us are endowed with a special skill whether its humor, conversational ability, or athletic prowess. What are you good at? Can you sing or are you a good dancer or a good cook? Think about your number one strength and incorporate it into your dating regime.

Hang out with her friends

Now this is important. If you are able to worm your way into the social circle of this girl, then chances of engaging her in a healthy conversation definitely improve. In fact, this particular tip has worked wonders with most Indian men. Hanging out in groups will make her notice you more and will give you an opportunity to showcase those special skills of yours.

Do not chase her

Whether you manage to enter her friend circle or not, do not chase her (emotionally, I mean). Do not try sticking to her like a limpet and force your presence on her. DON’T!! You don’t want to reduce yourself to being a member of the pack of wannabe boyfriends who are trying to go after her. Now imagine if a woman notices that you happen to be the only one who’s not participating in the chase. What do you think will happen to her attraction level? You’ll only become a hotter commodity.

Be different

Be boring and your girl would start snoring. Being same as every other guy means being boring, and women aren’t attracted to boring guys. So try to be different. No, don’t rush to the salon and get yourself a Mohawk but do something that will make you stand out from the crowd. However, retain your individuality and don’t try too hard to get her to notice you. Always be conscious of your worth.

Ask interesting and meaningful questions

Most men often are complete idiots when it comes to asking questions that are both relevant and interesting. Making your questions interesting will make her enthusiastic about the answer.

Make her laugh

Never underestimate the power of laughter. Women just love men who can make them laugh. Get a girl to laugh, and half your job is done. But preserve those below the belt jokes for your guy friends. Be a little subtle in your humour and you’ll have her sniggering at your jokes.

Learn to take risks

Unless you harden your heart, and learn to take a few chances you will never be able to get romantic with your babe. Realise that you must be the one to make the first move, and ask her out. And it should be fast, because if you linger you will soon become one of her pals which you obviously don’t want to.

Be Better Than The Other Guy

Have you ever considered the possibility that when you meet an attractive woman, chances of her being followed by several other potential suitors is very high?

She may also have a steady boyfriend as attractive women are rarely ever single. Most men are well aware of this fact and this gets in the way of them making their moves. To get her attention you have to be different from all your competitors.

The best way of doing this is to differentiate yourself from “the pack” and get her to chase you. To be different, you have to develop yourself — inside and out — so you can offer her the unique experience of being with a man who is better than all other guys she has been with. So here are some great tips to help you create that magical experience for her.

Believe that you deserve better

The fact is that when it comes to beautiful women most men simply refuse to believe that they actually deserve success. This in turn affects their confidence. Unless you believe, you can’t act with conviction. Confidence is something that can’t be feigned and women can sense a FAKE from a mile. So if you believe that you don’t deserve to enjoy the company of attractive women, you are actually psyching yourself to all the wrong things and sabotaging your chances.

What you can do

• Foster the belief that any woman should thank her stars to have got her hands on a guy like you.
• Try writing at least three reasons why you believe this is true. Keep adding something to the list everyday and watch it grow. As the number of your accomplishments increase, so will your confidence.

Work on your insecurities

To attract beautiful women you have to tide over all those deep seated insecurities that you have so lovingly nurtured during your hitherto unsuccessful dating career. Don’t try to cover them up.
Because the more you try, the more obvious they will appear to women. It’s quite like seeing a woman wearing too much makeup to cover the acne on her face. The harder she tries to conceal them the more they hit the eye.

What you can do

• Instead of hiding your insecurities feature them till they stop bothering you. An excellent way of doing this is to use them to in your jokes when you flirt with women.
• If you are insecure about your hair loss say something like “This is never going to work out. You just keep looking at my gorgeous head. How would you feel if I kept staring at your gorgeous legs?”

Take charge

Like every other guy, you too must have given up innumerable chances of starting a conversation with a woman you found attractive because you didn’t want to interrupt or bother her even when it seemed that she was open to being approached. You gawked at her or kept glancing at her and looked away when she caught your eye. Most men are unconsciously seeking PERMISSION to do every little thing. It’s like you haven’t yet got out of the “May I come in, ma’am” syndrome. Asking for permission has been drilled into the psyche of Indian men. So if the girls nod or give you a smile (which they often don’t), you walk towards them tentatively and mumble something to them, with a sickly smile on your face.

What to do

• Stop asking for permission.
• Visit places like malls and parties and start conversations with girls at random. It’s really not that difficult. A man with the freedom to take action when and where he wants is rare — and women find this kind of “bold” guy VERY attractive.

Be a Man

All women want to share their lives with a real man. So how does a woman know when she’s in the presence of one? Well, a real man knows how to stay comfortable and confident around beautiful women. In addition, he’s also very relaxed around powerful, high-status people, like his boss. He is not intimidated by competition from other men and actually welcomes them.

What to do

• Try and work on your cool quotient. A very simple way of doing this is to develop that nothing- to lose attitude
• Don’t get intimidated by high-profile people. Be respectful but not subservient. If there is anything that you disagree with voice your opinion. This will go a long way in helping in bringing out the man in you.
• By incorporating all the above mentioned tips in your daily life, getting the chick of your choice will become the easiest thing in the world. As the saying goes “Change your Vision and the world will change around you.”

Make Yourself Irresistible

Did you know that most men approach the process of trying to get dates in a way that virtually GUARANTEES that they will fail? Well I need to ask you something really quickly…

Have you noticed that women seem to have an unerring ability to create an unbreakable “barrier” that they can automatically put up when they’re talking to you? It’s quite like having a sixth sense that alerts them about a guy waiting to ask them out or worse… propose to them. And it turns on an invisible force-field of doom.

Women, it’s said, make up their mind about a guy within the first 15 seconds of meeting him. So it doesn’t leave you with a lot of time to make a good impression on your potential sweetheart. But a very conscious attempt may jeopardise your chances as well, because women have a powerful dude-dar. Even before you invade her personal space, you need to make an impression from a distance, so by the time you actually get talking to her she is well aware of your presence and is actually anticipating the pleasant clash. Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances:

Be the man

This can also be described as the bad-boy appeal. The element of danger is best if it is an irresistible combination of mystery and unpredictability. If you can create this appeal then you can create and break all dating rules and norms at will. It’s a feeling similar to what Neo (the Matrix dude) got when he realised he actually was the ‘one’. You become the master of the situation. The psychological boost that you get from this is incredible. You become someone who doesn’t take crap from anyone. Others have to rise to your standards and not the other way round.

If you have ‘em, flaunt ‘em

If you have those enviable peaks, a good chest or a cute ass, then show them. You don’t need to work out six days a week and build six packs to get girls (though it does help) – But stay in shape with some regular jogging and cardio.

Jazz up your looks

If you think spending those additional few minutes in front the mirror will do wonders to your looks, then don’t grudge yourself a regular facial or an exfoliation regime. Just avoid looking too prim and manicured or you will look like a made-up doll. So to get that manly look, avoid shaving for two or three days to get that designer stubble, that women love. Keep you hair and nails trim and your hands moisturised.

Be funny – Not corny

Women just love an excellent sense of humour. Be quick and witty. Just try and be a little subtle with your one-liners and avoid “low-brow” topics. You can also tease her about things in a way that would get her interested.

However, you should also keep in mind that the girl you are trying to impress might not be the one for you. In other words if a girl is not genuinely interested, there is nothing you can do about it. So don’t get hung up getting that one girl. She is not the only girl left on this planet. Stay cool and when you feel confident and in control, chances are you will be picked up by someone even better than her.

7 Types Of Women You Find At Bars

Bars and pubs are the place to be after a long and highly anticipated Friday. The perfect venues to loosen up your tie, catch up with buddies, grab a few drinks and maybe use your charm on the ladies. Albeit you tend to bump into a very animated and distinctive bunch of these that form the fairer sex. Some stand out captivate you in the right way, why there are others who leave you scarred with their outrageously hilarious behaviour. And for that, we bring to you the seven type of women we happen to spot the most in weekend quest to the nearest drinking hole.

1.The Dance To/Of Death Girl

We love to shake a leg and loosen them muscles after a drink or two. Thankfully, we are always captivated by few gorgeous ladies doing the same on the dance floor. But beware. There are few who take regular breaks, maybe freshen up, grab another drink and get back to hit the floor. And then, there are others who have made the dance floor their home when they’re drenched with sweat, coupled with dishevelled hair and eye-makeup running down their cheeks. While they’re a delight to watch with their commendable stamina, there happens to be another kind who have had a drink too much and they end up bumping and swaying their way all across the dance floor. They have no sense of time and space and might fumble and tumble all over the place. This is the dance of death. Throw in a pole and they even lose their inhibitions.

2.The Woman With Capacity

You see her guzzling one cocktail after another, followed by a chain of flaming shots that she gleefully downs in a single shot accompanied by a loud delirious hooting. The beer pitcher comes in and she’s game for a chugging challenge. Some starters as accompaniments and someone announces the next round of Jager Bombs are on them. That lights up their face and you see this girl taking it all in without breaking into a sweat. You wish you could give her a standing ovation but you have already flat passed out on the dance floor.

3.The Girl Who Owns The JukeBox/DJ

She’s standing right next to the JukeBox or the DJ doling out one request after another while working her charm on him effortlessly. If you’re into her kind of music you might enjoy it, if not, then you’re in for one night of pure aural torture. Few drinks down and her taste slowly alter and some awkwardly shady and raunchy numbers follow. Maybe an item song to spice things up. Too many drinks and you see her falling on the DJ console and requesting him to play a disturbingly emotional song. You know she might break into tears, but she gathers herself and is back to some crazy dance numbers. Love it or hate it, you got to enjoy the ride.

4.The Drunken Freeloader

You may think of her as a fool who’s acting innocently dumb, but this one has few tricks up her sleeve. There are few women out there who are cordial enough to love a complimentary drink or two, and then there are others who love to tank up on all the free ale coming their way. If there was a flood of free drinks, they would gleefully drown in it. They don’t care who is offering them a drink, or what it holds. Their primary motive is to get drunk, and they strive to achieve that time and again.

5.The Cougar

In the haze of the fog machine and blinding lights, you spot this lost creature, or rather a deer caught in a car’s headlight. The ageing skin and hints of white hair are skilfully hidden behind layers upon layers of make-up. Add to that an oddly suffocating contraction that happens to be her attire for the night and you have the right person to look lost in a bar. She’s there to garner some attention, indulge in few drinks, and maybe have a good time, but the fact that she doesn’t seem to fit in tends to hit her square on her face time and again. We feel for her, we really do.

6.The Emotional One

This one’s an easy bird to spot. One drink down and she’s already called you her best friend, told you about the new puppy she got in her life and how her boyfriend is being nice and how the puppy died and she is dating a cheater to how her boss tries to hit on her to, wait, what? The conversation soon stops making sensing for all you can comprehend amidst the incontrollable sobbing and gibberish is absolutely nothing. The make-up is smothered all over the face and tears are pouring incessantly. Add some sheer bad luck and you might also be rewarded with some projectiles being spewed from her mouth. Good luck, you’ll need it.

7.The Girl On Too Many Drugs

Cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana, and an assortment of others, this one might be high on one or many of those. He eyes reek of the drug-induced delirium she happens to find herself in. She’s on the dance floor throughout the night, dancing her shoes off and taking occasional roles to smoke a cigarette or chug a drunk. Her highly energetic dance moves overwhelm everyone on the dance floor while she is completely oblivious of her action. Her speech is indecipherable, and yet you won’t bother asking her again out of the sheer fear that she may pounce on you at any given point of time.

Do men like women who flash the flesh?

Most people think so, but there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary…

Hot pants, mini skirts, exposed midriffs, side boobs…Mmmm.

Erm, ahem, splutter. Apologies. No, you haven’t interrupted one of our regular afternoon naps.

No, we’ve been pondering this male fantasy list of female fashions for perfectly sound scientific reasons.

Because the latest study says men don’t go for flesh baring females at all.

Can it be true? We spend longer than strictly necessary searching for an answer.

Men like demure

According to new research, poor old Rihanna wouldn’t have much of a chance with the average bloke (we bet she’s gutted). And if Kylie approached us in the kind of mini skirt that showed her famously pert bottom to best effect many of us would compliment her on a fine body of work but suggest she keep her other body more modestly under wraps.

At least, that’s what you might conclude from a study which found that while 31 percent of men liked a revealing dresser, 54 percent said they preferred a woman in “classy” attire.

And what do they mean by classy? Well, according to the poll, 45 percent prefer a woman in the sort of styles popularised by the demure Duchess of Cambridge (though not in those French magazine photos).

In other words, we like women to leave, well, pretty much everything to our imaginations. Who on earth would have thought that?

It’s all about respect

Apparently, and here the study wanders onto slightly dodgy ground, it’s all about respect.

More than half of those polled said they’d respect a woman more if she dressed in a reserved way, while just a quarter said it depended on the woman in question. Just 22 percent said they’d respect a woman who wore revealing outfits.

That might be because women who flash acres of flesh make us a little bit nervous. The poll also revealed that 38 percent of men admitted to feeling intimidated by women in overly revealing clothes.

The perfect (out)fit

Perhaps surprisingly, science has something to say about this too, and it backs up the prim and proper approach – well, a bit.

It was previously thought that men like to be able to see as much of a woman’s skin as possible, because the more flesh on show, the more accurately they could (subconsciously) judge her youth and therefore her fertility.

Long legs, a slim waist and large breasts can also be biological indicators of fertility, which may explain the mini skirt, crop top and push up bra.

But attraction is more complex than that, even among sexually driven young people, as a study by researchers from Leeds University discovered.

In the study, female researchers discreetly observed women from a balcony overlooking the dance floor of one of the city’s biggest nightclubs.

And what they found was that women baring quite a lot of flesh were approached most often by men. In fact, women who revealed around 40 percent of their bodies attracted twice as many men as those who covered up.

In other words, the study doesn’t back up the idea that long skirts and demure tops are what men like best, or at least it suggests they’re not what the young men who frequent nightclubs like best.

But nor did the study confirm the idea that the more revealing the better for women trying to find a boyfriend. Because the popularity of women (in terms of how often they were approached by men) began to fall off after the 40 percent mark. The more flesh they showed beyond that, the less popular they became.

So even among young men in a nightclub, there is such a thing as a too revealing outfit. It’s probably fair to say that the rest of the male population would be, if anything, more conservative.

Too much of a good thing

So why do men, who it’s generally thought can’t get enough naked female flesh, balk at real women who dress too revealingly?

It could be that while female flesh is always alluring, too much on public display sends mixed messages to men who want to be titillated, but not share that titillation with lots of other men.

Or, as psychologist Dr Colin Hendrie, who led the study, said at the time: “Any more than 40 per cent and the signal changes from ‘allure’ to one indicating general availability and future infidelity.

“Show some leg, show some arm, but not any more than that.”

So there may be some truth in the idea that men are turned off, or at least intimidated, by the Rihannas of the world. In truth, men are a mass of contradictions on the subject. Though ostensibly we like to see as much flesh as possible, in potential partners it seems there really is a point where we can get too much of a good thing.

 

What being in love does for your body

We all know that being in love is a heavenly sensation, but what’s it actually doing to your body? The answer is, it turns out, a great deal of good. We look at the physical effects of falling for someone, and why it can be so, so good for us…

Are you sleeping better? Losing weight more easily? Not coming down with flu even though all the others in your office are dropping like flies? Chances are, you’re in love. Experts seem to agree that, as a result of side-effects ranging from plummeting blood pressure and steadying hormone levels to burning calories in the sack and fighting bad stress with good, falling for someone means you’ve struck health gold.

“The course of true love never did run smooth,” wrote William Shakespeare. But what did he know? Here are our top reasons why you should be thankful you’ve hooked up.

It increases your lifespan

While some may joke that tying the knot is “throwing your life away”, it turns out they couldn’t be more wrong. Research has shown over and over that married couples – even more so than those cohabitating – have longer lifespans. The main reason is that most people in healthy long-term relationships are less stressed overall, cutting down on major health risks. They’re also more active, drinking and smoking less than their single peers. A study by Duke University, North Carolina, for example, found that people who don’t marry were more than twice as likely to die early than those who had been in a stable, long-term relationship.

It improves your overall health

Being loved up has been shown to reduce the risk of all sorts of diseases, including cancers, high blood pressure, strokes and depression. Reducing your stress levels is a gift that keeps on giving too; in turn you’ll also develop a much stronger immune system. Meanwhile, having sex just once a week has been linked (in a study by Wilkes University, Pennsylvania) to higher levels of immunoglobulin A, a super antibody that keeps colds and other nasty bugs at bay.

These regular bouts of lovemaking also make for a better night’s sleep. The oxytocin hormone that our bodies release helps us relax. Benefits of good quality snoozing are legion, including lower weight and blood pressure and having more energy during the day – much like a healthy exercise regime.

You burn more calories

While it may not be the same as 45 minutes on the elliptical, getting it on can burn something like 100-200 calories in a half-hour session (it depends how vigorously you are going at it). Even making out for 20 minutes has the potential to burn 60 calories. It may not seem much at first glance, but doing it a few times a week really adds up – and it’s a whole lot more fun than spin class.

Hugging does more than keep you warm

Who doesn’t love a good hug? Making time to snuggle with your loved one has been shown to have some surprising benefits. Hugging, cuddling and even holding hands triggers the release of the ‘feel-good hormone’ oxytocin, and the endorphin release is similar to the feeling we get post-workout, after taking a bite of chocolate or the high that we get from orgasm.

On a deeper level, a warm embrace has been shown to lower blood pressure and help us tackle everyday stress. Luckily for us ladies, a study by the University of California a few years ago even proved that holding hands with your man has an anaesthetic effect, making us more resilient to pain. So next time you cut your finger or have a pounding headache, demand a cuddle.

Your circulation improves

It’s not just his blood-flow which improves when you’re together… Research shows that simply finding someone attractive – and even those first date ‘butterflies’ – can improve organ function. Sexual attraction has been linked to increased blood flow – proof that the opposite sex really can send our pulses racing. All that extra oxygen keeps your heart in good shape, improves focus, boosts your metabolism and even promotes glowing skin.

You look prettier

And not just because of that extra glow… There’s no doubt sex can make you feel good, but it can also make you look good too. As Jerry Hall recently said in an interview, ‘being in love’ is the top beauty tip. But it’s not just celebrity hearsay – there is actual physiological evidence which supports the theory that love cuts down on the need for spot creams, blusher and even lip plumping gloss.

Our bodies produce extra oestrogen during sex, balancing hormone levels and boosting our confidence levels to produce nature’s most effective acne remedy. Did we mention the shiner hair and glowing cheeks too?

And here’s some more good news, sex is also known to boost collagen production, helping to keep dreaded wrinkles and dry skin at bay. As we get older our collagen production levels naturally slow – all the more reason to keep the bedroom romance alive.

You’ll be cool under pressure

That pre-date adrenaline rush might put you on edge at the time, but research suggests that this acute surge of nerves is a type of ‘beneficial stress’ which will stand you in good stead in the long run. It’s a bit like jumping out of a plane – you might be scared at the time, but you’ll be glad you did it once you’re feet are back on the ground.

5 ways to heal ‘sexless marriage’

Sex therapist Laurie Watson lists down 5 tips that will help you bring passion back into your relationship and marriage

Sex is worth nurturing as it helps you stay bonded and strengthens your love and closeness, but it fades away after years of marriage.

According to certified sex therapist Laurie Watson, author of ‘Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage‘, after years of marriage it’s not unusual for sex to happen less often and feel less satisfying than it used to.Watson has suggested some tips to bring it back into your relationship, according to Huffington Post.

First try to understand where it went, said Watson.

When a relationship becomes real, with conflicts and genuine needs, some of the high wears off and we have to work through physical or psychological stumbling blocks, she said.She added that our bodies still need touch and sexual release to deeply connect us as partners, but we don’t always have the same biological prompt-a sexual urge, an instinctual nudge, or an outright horny feeling. A woman with low desire is like a Porsche with a tank full of gas and a broken starter. Next try to bring up a conversation when you’re not in bed-maybe at the dinner table or while taking a walk together, she suggested.

Ask for permission to bring up a difficult topic so your partner will be serious and receptive. Talk honestly, and be careful to be gentle and loving to avoid putting the other person on the defensive. “State your desire for your partner in a positive way,” Watson advises.

Watson also advised checking your medicines. If you or your partner takes for other medical conditions that may have the unwanted side effect of interfering with interest and arousal. Be assertive in asking your doctor about sexual side effects and what you can do about them, she said.To counter the deadening effects of these medications, she recommends the use of a vibrator.Any stress in the relationship quickly finds its way into the bedroom. In this case you can take a therapist’s help, according to Watson.

A good therapist can help you see whether a non-sexual problem in the relationship -such as resentment, lack of trust, or body image issues-may be manifesting itself in sexual avoidance, and give you the communication tools to solve it, she added.

Be open to change- Sexual shut-down isn’t inevitable as we age, but change is.

The key is staying open and flexible, said Watson. She suggests to try new techniques, different stimuli, different timing. Learn to seduce your partner anew.

Try pleasuring yourself on your own to see whether a different pace, touch, or fantasy arouses you more than what you’re used to, she stated.