A loving couple, a happy marriage – however around 7 years down the line, love and happiness seem light years away.
First the play, then the famous Marilyn Monroe starrer – the 7-Year Itch is also a dilemma some couples have to deal with in their married lives. This phase is a very trying time, which could either make or mar a relationship. We bring you 6 tips to bring things back on track.
Little Acts of Love
Couples tend to take each other for granted after a period of time, which is unhealthy for the marriage. Everyday routine becomes a monotony that hangs heavy on your heart – with no respite in sight. Your woman needs to know that you still find herattractive – go the mile. The tip to deal with 7 Year Itch is simple gestures like gifting flowers, giving little surprises or complimenting her can work wonders.
Mending the Communication Gap
It is easy to get so mired in office-work, house-work, children and other familial issues as to not have time to talk properly with each other. It is crucial to take some time out daily and converse with each other – about what happened during the day, each other’s feelings and problems. Give yourselves both at least 20 minutes in the day (or night) when you can talk to each other. Phone conversations don’t count!
And hence the movie. Without quality time spent with each other, a marriage may very well resemble a business arrangement. Keep one evening free to do something interesting with your girl – go out for dinner or catch a movie. Or maybe go crazy and take her boating or skiing. Such valuable moments solidify the marriage where partners can connect with each other without distractions like chores or business calls.
One of the most common reasons for detachment with one’s spouse is that the other person does not understand one. You may not be able to help your woman deal with her obnoxious business clients, or she with your appraisal pressures – in fact you might not even comprehend what her big deal is all about. However it is vital that communication lines are open and you can give each other mental and emotional support by lending a willing ear. Following this tip will help you in dealing with 7 Year Itch.
Another very common problem – this might be something you would not even want to discuss with your besties always. As a marriage matures and other pragmatic issues outweigh the passion, the sexual radar of a couple may not function on the same frequency anymore. However, catering to each other’s needs, even if one is not feeling romantic oneself, can help strengthen the marriage. Not particularly aroused but she wants it? Have a quickie. You want it but she’s not interested – talk it out.
This is the last resort for a couple whose relationship seems like it is doomed. When all amateur moves have failed, it may be advisable for you to visit a marriage counselor. Although embarrassing for the uninitiated and hurtful to those who are too proud to admit to anyone else that there is trouble in paradise, such counseling is actually very helpful to couples willing to make their relationship work. The presence of a third party acts as a catalyst to diffuse the problems in one’s marriage, and you come to look at it from each other’s points of view.
A study conducted on married people has actually shown that a decrease in marital quality happens first at around 4 years after the marriage, and a second dip towards the 7th year. And couples with children faced the steepest decline. Around this time, when indifference towards one’s spouse sets it, whether the reasons are sexual dissatisfaction or emotional disconnection, one may fall prey to the temptation of an extramarital affair – or at least thoughts of engaging in such a liaison.