How to Turn Her Down Gracefully

Turning down a woman is undoubtedly the hardest of things for a man to do. On one hand, you fear that turning a woman down would invite her wrath but, on the other, irrespective of how she may react, you ultimately end up losing your sleep for days.

This is when you must learn the art of turning her down gracefully so that she isn’t left with any hard feelings towards you.

Turning Her Down When She Approaches You Online


No matter what the love pundits say, turning someone down in person hurts and shocks more than anything else. These are the very situations you have your personal emails for. One of the biggest advantages of writing about your feelings on email is that you can pen them down taking all the time in the world, and not write too much or too less. Make her realize how awfully bad taking this decision feels to you and throw the blame games to the trash. You may have a hundred issues with her, but now is not the time to bring them up. Tell her how long term commitments aren’t a thing for you. Steer clear of movie-inspired stuff like how you don’t consider yourself worthy of her because that’s going to have exactly the opposite effect of what you want to happen. Sugar-coat your words so that she can handle the rejection better but don’t be over-sentimental.

Turning Her Down on Email

Turning a girl down online should not involve a lot of trying. Never be rude just because she is someone you have met in the online world. She lives in the same real world as you do. And sites like Facebook and Twitter have made this real world a smaller place and she might know someone who knows you.

Turning Down the Friend of a Friend

This one is tricky. You wouldn’t want to offend two people with a single stroke. This new girl might be someone recommended by your friend whom you had been stalking so that he/she can set you up with someone. Rudely *rejecting* the recommendation may turn out to be embarrassing for your friend. If the first date made you realize she isn’t the one for you, it would be advisable to go for a second outing and break the ‘You are not my type’ news to her there.

Turning Down a Colleague

This line would work unfailingly, “I would have loved to date you, but dating a co-worker is a bad idea and makes me jittery”.

Turning down a girl does lead to an awkward situation, partly for you and partly for the girl. However, the extent of awkwardness is in your hands. So, play wisely.


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