HOW TO SAVE A DYING RELATIONSHIP

There comes a point in any relationship when the going gets tough and the prospect of separating appears more appealing than staying together.

But what’s the point of getting into a relationship if you’ll be willing to decamp as soon as things get a little hot to handle!?

If a relationship is meant to die, then your best efforts won’t salvage it. But you will not know if it could be saved unless you make an honest attempt. Here’s how you can, at least try, to save a dying relationship.

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1. What’s the problem?

You cannot save anything unless you know what is killing it. The first thing to do is to figure out what is killing the relationship, why it is dying and how did it reach the sad state that it currently is in. This will call for introspection and a sincere effort to figure out what’s wrong. Put your head to it and ask yourself repeatedly ‘what’s the problem’till you find an eye-opening, enlightening answer.

2. Communicate

To communicate with your partner is probably the toughest thing to do when you are going through a bad phase. You both need to behave like adults, show maturity and not yell or fight when you sit to talk. Stay calm and stay focused on addressing the issues at hand. Give one another the space and freedom to talk without any inhibitions. Once you hear what the other has to say, this will begin to look clearer.

3. Ask common friends to play mediator

This can be tricky. Your common friends can be asked to play unbiased mediators in your fight. Here, two things can happen. One, they successfully help you sort out issues. Two, they end up taking sides and you are now not only left with a dying relationship but also with a dying friendship.

4. Assume responsibility

Once you have thought things through and are communicating with your partner, you need to start assuming responsibility; responsibility for the relationship, for what went wrong, for your role in allowing things to get out of hand. Once you own up to your errors, you will feel slightly less burdened and will begin to see things with the right perspective.

5. Forgive and comprise

If you have accepted your errors, then you understand the importance and power of forgiveness. You must forgive each other if the relationship has to survive the storm. Forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened, but about accepting the reality of the situation and deciding to rise above it. Also, without compromise you will head nowhere in life. So, why not start with a relationship that really matters to you?

Fixing a dying relationship is relatively easy provided both of you are willing to work towards a solution. And if the relationship is worth fighting for, rather live through it than allow it to die, no?

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2 thoughts on “HOW TO SAVE A DYING RELATIONSHIP

  1. It might be argued that no relationship is worth entering unless there is a firm, 100% commitment on both sides. By that, I mean a total giving without thought of recompense, total faithfulness during the relationship, even (and this may well be a strange idea to many), total faithfulness before the relationship, leading to no ghosts to get in the way. It also has the advantage of never needing to forgive, as the need for forgiveness never arises. Too much to ask? Well, nobody ever said it was easy, and as we are all human, with human frailties, your advice is good for those occasions when things are allowed to start failing. Nice writing. Thank you.

  2. @ raimo2 : completely agree with your point total faithfulness and good understanding on both side is must in order to have a healthy relationship, and the most important Honesty and Love.

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