YOU MIGHT HEAR THE WORD “SECRET” AND THINK OF SOMETHING SINISTER, LIKE HOOKERS, DEAD BODIES, OR AN AFFINITY FOR BOY BANDS. BUT, IN REALITY, WHATEVER YOUR MAN IS KEEPING FROM YOU IS PROBABLY HARMLESS. READ ON AS REAL GUYS CONFESS THE THINGS THEY DON’T SHARE WITH THEIR WIVES.
The X-rated Secret
“I’m into porn.” — Jason
Watching cheerleaders kiss each other isn’t a sign that we’re unhappy with our marital nookie; it’s just means that we like watching two girls kiss. As Vicki Larson writes in the Huffington Post, “The majority of people view their porn watching as some good, not-quite-so-clean fun.” In fact, according to a study conducted by the late researcher Alvin Cooper, the former head of the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center, only 15 percent of respondents said their porn watching actually led to problematic behaviors.
The Mother Secret
“I never directly say ‘I dislike your mother’; I just say, ‘We should do something else this weekend.’” — Robert
This is one of those secrets that’s good for us both. What’s the upside to telling you that we kinda can’t stand your mother? Who does this help? Definitely not us.
The Friend’s Secret
“If a friend tells me ‘Don’t tell anyone,’ I take that sh#t seriously and won’t tell anyone, including my wife.” — Brandon
If a friend confides in us and swears us to secrecy, we have to treat that promise with respect. After all, we’d do the same for you.
The Accidental Secret
“Most of the time, if my wife doesn’t know something, it’s because it slipped my mind. With a kid and work, sometimes we don’t have enough time to catch up.” — Matt
So the next time you’re about to scream Why didn’t you tell me?! cut us some slack. We probably just forgot to tell you, even though we meant to.
The Harmless Secret
“I hosted a gentlemen’s party and we enjoyed some fine cigars in the house. 48 hours of open windows and scented candles, and no one was the wiser.” — Tom
We commit innocent transgressions — like smoking inside — all the time. We keep them to ourselves to avoid a fight.
The Flirty Secret
“Sometimes when I’m out at a bar with my friends, I’ll flirt with a girl or two.” — Every guy on the planet
This doesn’t mean we want to act on it. It just means we have a pulse. (And we get that you probably flirt sometimes, too.) We keep it a secret not because we think the flirting is “wrong,” but because we don’t want you to think it means more to us than it really does.