Unconditional love or clingy?

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Do you have a strong desire to always be with your sweetheart? Can’t keep thinking about him or her? Smothering him/her with your love? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you are heading towards the ‘Clingy’ way. Ah! Sucks doesn’t it? It was only in fairytale romances and fiction that two lovers were inseparable. In real life, if you stay joined at the hip, the results can be disastrous. Forget about happily ever after, your love will run a mile just to get away from all the smothering you have to offer. We get it that you are in love and you want to spend every waking hour with your love. But think about it, wouldn’t it be better if you had a life of your own and your love had one too?

Another thing that’s wrong with clinging is the PDA. Walking hand in hand, gazing into each other’s eyes, whispering sweet nothings – all this makes other people uncomfortable. This is mostly done when there’s an insecurity that lies deep within you. You want people to know that your guy/girl is taken.

Research indicates that women/men who cling to their partners or are needy, jealous and possessive suffer from low self esteem issues and have a constant fear that their partner will cheat on them. This is one of the major reasons why a great relationship comes to a bitter end. You tend to fight a lot more and quibble over nothing. Just because your girl or guy looks at another person, it does not amount to cheating and it certainly is not a big deal. But, if he/she starts ogling and really checks this hottie out, then that is showing disrespect to you and you have reason enough to be uncomfortable and angry.

Don’t treat your partner like he/she is your property and no one else should dare even look at him/her. A fear of rejection or abandonment should not lead to you behaving recklessly. Respect your partner and learn to trust him/her. If you worry about each and every person who looks at your partner, you are in trouble!

The fear of losing your partner to someone else is something that most people do feel at one point or the other, especially when you are together for a long time. This fear, however, often creates problems and tensions in a relationship, and brings bitterness between two lovers. The more you cling, the farther the distance will be between you two. Emotionally insecurity is a big turn off, not just for men but for women too. Incessant calling, continuous text messaging are all signs of insecurity. If you see your partner drifting away, it can be painful but the best thing to do under such circumstances is to let him/her have her space and come back to you.

Go back to being the person you were before your relationship started. You had friends, hobbies, a life filled with happy and fun moments. You didn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend back then but you were happy and carefree. Being that person again is important, as losing who you were completely for a relationship can only lead to suffocation and unhappiness. Remember your partner fell in love with you because you were fun to be around with and there were things about you that kept him or her intrigued. There was an eagerness to meet and spend time…Bring that back by finding yourself again!

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